25 of the Funniest Quips From Women This Week

Overheard in kindergarten:

Kid 1: My mom is so beautiful. She smells like flowers.
Kid 2: My mom is also beautiful. She smells like chicken fingers.

— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) April 7, 2025

Me: I haven’t been able to finish a sentence or a thought in 7 years.

My oldest: Hey, I’m 7!

Me: Imagine that…

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) April 10, 2025

I threw old kale in my backyard and now the squirrels are riding little Pelotons and requesting coconut water.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) April 10, 2025

starting a new show sucks. who are these people

— chase (@_chase_____) April 7, 2025

I told a first grade class that I have an identical twin sister.

One of the kids raised his hand and asked, "Do you ever think you might actually be her?"

So hang out with six year olds, get free identity crisis, I guess.

— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) April 8, 2025

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) April 8, 2025

Here’s a list of my favorite things to do:

1. Go home
2. Be at home
3. Not leave my home

— Kristen (@Kica333) April 12, 2025

Hey, sorry I didn’t answer your phone call. I’ve already answered two phone calls this year. I’m phone called out

— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) April 9, 2025

me: I'm not old

also me: *realizes the number of meteorologists I follow on social media is not zero*

— meghan (@deloisivete) April 9, 2025