20 Funny and Relatable Tweets From The Mom TruthBomb

A lot of parenting involves doing really nice things for your kids, and your kids making you regret that decision instantly.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) September 3, 2016

"And when you finally took 24 pictures, you had to take the film out of the camera, take it to the store, and wait a WHOLE week to find out if any of them were actually good."

– scary campfire stores in the 21st century

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) June 30, 2018

Any parents out there wondering if they keep allowing the kitchen garbage to overflow, that maybe, just MAYBE, one of their kids will voluntarily empty it instead of continuing to pile trash on top of it indefinitely, the answer is no. No they will not.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) July 26, 2021

All the baby books tell you that infants need to eat every 2 to 3 hours, but what they fail to mention is that this behavior continues until the child turns 18 and moves out of your house.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) May 29, 2019

One of the most exciting things that can happen to a parent is one of their kid's activities getting canceled at the last minute.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) December 16, 2021

Today I decided to send my kids to school with every hat, glove, and scarf we own so they can just lose all of them at once and get it over with.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) November 9, 2017

I've reached that point as a Mom where I'll eat a piece of pie with my bare hands over the trash if it means not getting another dish dirty.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) November 28, 2016

The main reason I fold laundry is to free up the laundry baskets to make room for more laundry.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) May 23, 2016

Me to my kids: Stop snacking! Can't you see I'm making dinner?!

Me while making dinner: Slice a piece of cheese, eat a piece of cheese. Slice a piece of cheese, eat a piece of cheese.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) March 22, 2022

*completes task that isn't on to-do list

*writes completed task on to-do list

*crosses completed task off of to-do list

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) December 3, 2021

According to my eyes, I have 2 kids.
According to the rate at which we go through food, I have 6 kids.
According to my ears, I have 13 kids.
According to my laundry baskets, I have infinity kids.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) May 4, 2018

One great thing about being a Mom is that if you ever have to leave something valuable in your car, you can just cover it with all the extra clothes and garbage lying around, and would-be thieves are none the wiser.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) December 11, 2018

Things that no longer interest me:

1. Driving at night
2. Leaving the house at night
3. Driving in the winter
4. Leaving the house in the winter
5. Driving
6. Leaving the house

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) January 23, 2022

I just watched as one of my kids made a plate of mini pretzels and melted shredded cheese over the top of them for a snack.

Pretzel nachos.

I guess children really ARE our future.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) March 30, 2023

If I die young it's going to be because I choked on a cookie that I was trying to scarf down before my kids walked in the room.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) April 20, 2019

As a parent, there's a lot more yelling at people from the bathroom than I would have imagined.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) September 3, 2016

Today I called the dishwasher the "washing machine for the dishes," in case you were wondering what Motherhood does to your brain cells,

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) December 13, 2016

I tell people I love snow days because I can stay in my pajamas all day, omitting the fact that I stay in my pajamas most other days, too.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) February 10, 2017

A good chunk of my cardio comes from walking around my house looking for my phone and my coffee.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) September 6, 2018

If something happens to me, I'm gonna need someone to go to my house and change the hand towel in the bathroom with clean one every week, because I'm pretty sure no one in my family realizes that's a thing that needs to be done.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) November 13, 2019