The women of Twitter never fail to make me laugh with funny and relatable quips.
Here’s a quick little round-up of some of my favorite tweets from women this week.
Hope these bring a little dose of humor to your day!
Janene
#1
I live opposite a park and I’ve just had two teenagers knock on my door and ask if they can order pizza to my address as they can’t to the park. So lovely and polite, a credit to their parents and of course, I said it was no problem. Shame that I’ll eat their pizza though…
— ⓟⓞⓟⓢ (@Pops__o) June 22, 2024
#2
My son’s new landlord asked if I wanted a key to the house he will be sharing with three other 19 year old boys and I’ve never wanted anything less in my entire life.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) June 22, 2024
#3
Didn't realize how few perks we have at the office til I said "we're allowed to listen to the radio on Friday!" to a new hire in a way that can be likened to a girl of 12 saying "I got an orange for Christmas!" as her papa lay dying of gangrene after the Battle of Fredericksburg
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) June 18, 2024
#4
My robot vacuum is nowhere to be found. He's been missing for two days. My house isn't that big, I've genuinely looked everywhere. I don't think I've ever been this confused.
— Fran (@whingewine) June 18, 2024
#5
wearing glasses doesn’t mean you’re smart, i literally had to fail a test to get these.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) June 22, 2024
#6
im scared to ask someone if they’re free to hangout because what if they’re free
— yash (@dildoswagginzs) June 19, 2024
#7
I’m not saying my 6yo is dramatic, I’m just saying we heard a severe thunderstorm warning on the car radio, and he groaned and said ugh why does my day keep getting worse
— meghan (@deloisivete) June 21, 2024
#8
The best part of a cucumber tastes like the worst part of a watermelon
— who cares (@DianaG2772) June 21, 2024
#9
One day you're young and cool, the next Amazon is sending you a deal they think you'll like and it's a sponge holder
— meghan (@deloisivete) June 18, 2024
#10
The best part of being Gen X is that there is very little evidence of the things we were doing in the 90s
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) June 21, 2024
#11
Good news! I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) June 17, 2024
#12
I'm running out of towels to throw in
— Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould) June 7, 2024
#13
A woman complimented my dress and now I feel like I betrayed my people because I didn’t tell her I got it on sale at Macy’s for $17.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) June 22, 2024
#14
getting so bored at work that i just start completing my assigned tasks
— Karli Marulli (@karlimarulli) June 21, 2024
#15
I like air conditioning in the car because it’s prepaid. Crank it up. But air conditioning at home? That’s a secret how much that’s gonna cost, we’ll tell you later.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 21, 2024
#16
I realized that my dear sweet daughter thought having your period is a *choice* and now she’s crying because I informed her it is not
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 19, 2024
#17
my first taste of true crime was mrs. peacock in the study with the candlestick.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) June 21, 2024
#18
I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. sorry bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month
— LorazeKim ™ 🏴☠️🇺🇸🇮🇹🏁 (@_KimberleyAnna) June 21, 2024
#19
My mom was using talk-to-text to message me about bringing donuts to her house and at the same time my dad was reading her an article about the effects the Supersize Me guy got from eating only McDonald’s pic.twitter.com/nMSAEwSjOS
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 20, 2024
#20
On the phone trying to talk my 81 yr old technically challenged mum through reconnecting her iPad to the internet & then to FaceTime her. She is insistent she hasn’t got a WiFi symbol or a camera icon. Losing the will to live when she says I’ve got a fan and a hot water bottle 🤣 pic.twitter.com/BnjxwdluDA
— Sarah Parry (@SarahWoods66) June 18, 2024