18 Epic Tweets About Women Who Had the Last Laugh

Had a repairman over for a quote, and as I was explaining the issue, my husband walked in, and suddenly the repairman couldn’t see or hear me. But that’s okay, he had a nice conversation with my husband and I hired someone else to do the job.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) June 1, 2022

my dad once complained about “coming home from a long day at work and having to eat on a paper plate” so my mom served him dinner in a solo cup the next day and we all ate like we didn’t notice

— Ꭰoηηiε Ꭰαrκo (@CameronxDonovan) December 16, 2019

The mechanic asked if I needed to call my husband before buying new tires for my car, so I asked him where the rotary phone was so I could call the 1950s

— meghan (@deloisivete) February 11, 2023

My husband pissed me off today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he had planned for our special day tomorrow

There is nothing special about tomorrow

But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as the panic takes over

— kids_kubed 🇨🇦 (@Kids_kubed) January 11, 2020

(I am 6 months pregnant)

Me after ordering my coffee:

Stranger at Starbucks: you know you should be drinking decaf when you’re pregnant.

Me: I’m… not pregnant.

Stranger: (horrified) I am so, so sorry!

And that’s what you get for giving unsolicited advice.

— Jax ⚡️Philosopher Queen (@Diamond_Jax) August 2, 2019

My husband pissed me off so when he wasn't looking I poured water on the floor in front of the dishwasher. He's been fixing it for the past 2 hours.

— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) October 12, 2019

Husband: If anyone else whines they have to go right to bed!

Me: Ugh my pants are too tight. My feet are cold. Everyone is being too loud.

Kids: Ha! Mom has to go to bed!

Me: Goodnight, suckers.

— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) February 7, 2020

"My coach said I run like a girl. And I said if he ran a little faster he could too."

-Mia Hamm

— Jory Micah (@jorymicah) July 20, 2017

My wife bought our kids do-it-yourself glitter slime kits, then suddenly had to leave home.

Guess who had to finish the project?

I'm not sure what this is revenge for, but I'm never crossing that woman again. pic.twitter.com/RRsSY2M1iw

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2019

I got a bunch of dental surgery and while waiting for a cab to go home a dude catcalled me so I just let a ton of blood fall out my mouth

— zoë “Baddie Proctor” quinn (@UnburntWitch) August 24, 2017

good morning to everyone but especially the woman in the crosswalk on my way to work who didn’t like that someone honked at her to hurry so she stopped and did a couple jumping jacks

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) February 21, 2019