20 Funny Posts to Start Your Week Off With Some Laughs

I’m a go-with-the-flow person as long as the flow has been planned at least 3 days in advance

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 16, 2024

Mad as hell to report that reading a paperback book the hour before bed instead of scrolling on my phone has significantly improved my sleep quality.

— Meg (@megannn_lynne) September 18, 2024

Of course I’m gonna buy this one obscure ingredient for this recipe I’m only going to make once and then let it take up space in my fridge until it expires.

— your other mom (@difficultpatty) September 18, 2024

House Hunters: she’s a school teacher and he folds pieces of paper in half for charity, their budget is 4.7 million dollars.

— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) March 5, 2024

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it

— Dr Helen Ingram (@drhingram) September 14, 2024

The 6yo figured out she can sneakily stick a note on someone’s back. But she doesn’t know they should say things like “kick me,” so they just have space facts on them.

— Robert McNees (@mcnees) December 16, 2018

Getting older means your arm must be in a certain position before going to bed so you'll have full use of it the next day.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) March 7, 2024

You think you’re going to have a pretty normal day and then your 5-year-old announces she only walks backwards now.

— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) April 20, 2019

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said "lasagna"

— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) September 5, 2024

There’s a couple breaking up so loudly on the sidewalk in front of my house! He said WHO ARE YOU GONNA TAKE TO YOUR SISTER’S WEDDING NEXT WEEKEND? She said MOZZARELLA STICKS! Which is a valid and devastating blow.

— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) August 21, 2023

I just heard someone respond to an invite with “no, I’d hate that” and they’re my new hero.

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) March 5, 2024

Today a kindergartener asked me if he could ask me a question and I said "sure" and then he did a somersault.

— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) September 9, 2024

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝘀. (@im_all_id) September 13, 2024

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try

— Manders 🌻 (@SunflowerGpsy) February 7, 2024

Someone just described a family as “Not a big food family” and I’ve never been less motivated to know a family in my entire life.

— Jared Freid (@jtrain56) April 24, 2021

Crocs are dangerous. You buy them thinking “these will be great for around the house” then suddenly… grocery store: crocs, mall: crocs, birthday party: crocs, wedding: crocs.

— Laura Lee (@Laura88Lee) July 24, 2020

the perfect job does not exi— pic.twitter.com/b49OzqnV2M

— NurseBrianRN (@rn_murse) March 3, 2024