25 Funny Posts About Doctor Visits That’ll Make You Feel Seen

I’ve entered it online twice. Submitted a picture of the card online, and just handed you the physical card and watched you make a copy but sure, doctor’s office, I’d love to write my insurance ID number on these three forms.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 29, 2025

I love how the first thing they do at the doctor’s office is weigh you. I was already nervous, now I’m depressed. Maybe next they can bring up something I regret from my past & really get this party started.

— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) August 5, 2021

My doctor’s office just called to confirm my Pap smear tomorrow. They told me I’m not allowed to bring any guests. So if I had previously invited you to this incredibly invasive procedure, unfortunately I have to uninvite you. Sorry.

— Jess (@a_hoyhoy) December 16, 2021

“Please pre-register for your doctor appointment online, so we can ask you the same 57 questions when you get here.”

— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) December 14, 2021

[Doctor's office]
<frantically peeling off nail polish> Okay, weigh me again.

— Kate | Not Proud of This, Either (@KateWouldHaveIt) August 10, 2017

Me: hi! I’m here for my appointment.

Doctor’s office: ok have a seat in the lobby. For like an hour. Then I’mma put you in a lil room for two hours. While you’re in the room people wearing scrubs will come in and out a few times. None of them will be the doctor. $5000 plz

— Niccole Thurman (@niccolethurman) October 24, 2019

I wore scrubs to Target and a woman asked me if her eye looked infected so I did what any doctor’s office would do. I asked her when her last period was and then I weighed her

— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) November 11, 2024

The medical advancement I’m most looking forward to is not having to hand fill out the same 35 forms every time I see the doctor.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 11, 2021

Yesterday I was at my grandma's doctor appointment with her and the physician started lecturing her on cutting back on sugar and she interrupted him and said "I am 90. I think I'm doing ok but thanks for the advice."

— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) October 16, 2022

“Please arrive to your doctor appointment 15 minutes early so our secretary can explain why we’re running 45 minutes late.”

— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) October 7, 2021

Doctor’s office: We need to reschedule your May 5 physical, next available is June 20th.

Me: Sorry, I will be out of town

Office: (irritated) Well, are there any days you ARE available?

Me: I’m free may 5th.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 3, 2022

Hmm yes I’m fully aware that the gynecologist is about to look inside my body but I’ll continue hiding my bra and underwear under my folded jeans thank you

— Sam Reece (@ItSamReece) December 26, 2020

I took my son to the doctor because he had a fever last night. Dr asked what it was and 10 fronted me out, “Oh she doesn’t know the number. She used her therMOMeter. You know? Kiss on the forehead and then she said oh, you have a fever.”

Dr. nodding his head, “Accurate.”

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 28, 2020

We just waited an hour to see our pediatrician. As soon as he walked in my toddler took his hand and pointed to his watch and said “This is a clock.” Which was the most passive aggressive thing I have ever witnessed.

— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) February 26, 2019

Doctor's office: You're overdue for a physical.
Me: Ok.
Dr: We recommend you getting one very soon.
Me: Do I have to?
Dr: You really should get one ASAP.
Me: Ok. Fine. Schedule me for one.
Dr: The earliest appointment we have is 8 months from now.

— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) July 14, 2021

I’m in a doctor’s office waiting room and there’s a People magazine on the table. I can’t believe Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are getting a divorce.

— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) June 21, 2022

My kids are playing doctor’s office and the receptionist just said, “the doctor will see you in five seconds” and this is the least realistic game I’ve ever seen.

— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) February 24, 2024

When a doctor says “if you have any trouble, just give me a call back” it makes me wonder if a doctor has ever tried calling a doctor

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) March 14, 2023

The doctor’s office needs to get those discs that light up to tell you the doctor is ready to see you that way you can go grab a coffee, do some grocery shopping, and get a university degree while you wait for your appointment

— Sam G (@ItsSamG) December 21, 2023

My doctor showed me the portion size dinner I should be eating.

In other words my doctor said I should eat an appetizer for dinner.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) February 19, 2024

Welcome to your 40s: you go to the doctor because your knee hurts and leave with a colonoscopy appointment.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) December 8, 2023

As you get older, you begin to suffer the occasional series of increasingly humiliating micro-injuries.
"How did you hurt yourself?"
I slept wrong.
While I was driving, I happened to yawn while checking my blind spot.
I drank water too hard.

— Jared C. Wilson (@jaredcwilson) October 9, 2020

Doctor: Your blood pressure is a little high.

Me: I have 4 kids. A 24-year-old living at home, two in college, and I'm about to teach our youngest how to drive.

Doctor:

Me:

Doctor: Your blood pressure is a little low.

— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) May 15, 2024

#Doctors be like… Go / buy this. and the #Pharmacist gives it to you. pic.twitter.com/F5mQh8NXrm

— JuliaPoems (@JJ56123) March 27, 2019

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took his own blood pressure.

— Myrna Tellingheusen (@PearlsFromMyrna) January 21, 2020