Top 25 Funniest Tweets From "That Mom Tho"

Friends, meet C.J. Kelsey, creator of “That Mom Tho” on social media. C.J. writes about marriage and parenting, and her quips are too funny and relatable.

I’ve rounded up my 20 favorite posts of hers here…hope these bring you some laughs!

Janene

#1

my husband keeps telling everyone i messed up his breakfast bc i forgot to make him toast so he got mad at me because he’s “lack-toast intolerant” and then laughs and laughs

they dont warn you about endless dad jokes, they should, but they dont
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) December 27, 2023

#2

I don’t always eat cereal, but when I do it’s no less than 8 serving sizes
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 27, 2024

#3

it was a very long time before i realized red lobster wasn’t the upscale dinery my parents led me to believe it was
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 16, 2024

#4 Sounds about right! When my kids were little I made “healthy brownies”, which include using fresh blueberries in the batter. They were actually fudgy and delicious and NOBODY could tell them apart from a regular brownie except my 4 year old nephew who immediately said “Tastes like BLUEBERRIES!” and made a face LOL…

My 3 year old, who doesn’t notice her pants are inside out or that her shoes are on the wrong feet, can spot a diced onion in her food from 3 feet away
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) February 5, 2020

#5

accidentally used my husbands body wash and now i don’t move out of the way when someone’s walking toward me
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 10, 2022

#6

I didn’t have any added sugar today, if I’m not 5 lbs lighter tomorrow I’m going to burn it all down
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 14, 2024

#7

I am 40 years old. I no longer aspire to be anything except home with my books and a warm blanket and in bed by 10.
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 6, 2024

#8

my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said “i am your mom” and she said “but like, a cool young fun mom”

im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 9, 2022

#9

my four year old just asked me to eat the rest of her fries and i wept for suddenly the pain of childbirth was erased
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 8, 2021

#10

90% of dog ownership is telling your dog you’re not letting them out because you just let them out and then letting them out
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 16, 2022

#11

did the heroic thing and left the bag of salad mix at the store today, let it rot in someone else’s fridge for once
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) February 21, 2022

#12

growing up i wanted to go on adventures

now as an adult i just want to eat bread without consequences
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 22, 2022

#13

Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 5, 2020

#14

intermittent fasting? i just slept 7 hours without a snack what more do you want from me?
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 5, 2021

#15

“I don’t need a cart” is the biggest lie I ever tell myself walking into a grocery store
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 11, 2021

#16

Welcome to your 40s-suddenly you understand why your mom didnt like night driving
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) December 13, 2024

#17

I wear leggings because I no longer wish to know what my pants size is
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 22, 2020

#18

my bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 15, 2025

#19

son said he was bored so hubby made a game of vacuuming as much dog hair as he could with the cordless vac and he’s almost done the whole house…im married to a parenting wizard
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 16, 2021

#20

nothing prepares you for when your sweet sensitive gentle eight year old son calls you “bruh” for the first time
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 9, 2021

#21 Aww, sweet girl deserves all the snacks…

My dog failed her obedience test, ate the other dogs snacks and cried in the corner. She is me. I am her. pic.twitter.com/9yuztcsCqx
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 22, 2019

#22

the number of turns i miss because my gps overestimates my ability to comprehend 600 ft
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 20, 2022

#23

4: mom was i in your tummy?

me: yep!

4: who is in there now?

me: no one

4: then why is it so big?

husband: oh no
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) February 23, 2021

#24

hello darkness my old friend
is it 5 or 10 pm
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 18, 2021

#25

I was in a very bad mood today. Then my 3 year old walked over, handed me a rock, patted my face and said “mommy, you’re perfect, here’s a present for you”. And I smiled.

And then I realized the rock was a cat turd.
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 12, 2020

You can follow CJ Kelsey on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for more!

Top 25 Funniest Tweets From “That Mom Tho”

#1

#2

#3

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

#21 Aww, sweet girl deserves all the snacks…

#22

#23

#24

#25

For more funny moms, check out: “21 Funny Tweets from the Most Relatable Moms on the Internet”

#1

#2

#3

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

#21 Aww, sweet girl deserves all the snacks…

#22

#23

#24

#25

For more funny moms, check out: “21 Funny Tweets from the Most Relatable Moms on the Internet”

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