20 of the Funniest Tweets From the Relatable “That Mom Tho”

my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said “i am your mom” and she said “but like, a cool young fun mom”

im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) November 9, 2022

the number of turns i miss because my gps overestimates my ability to comprehend 600 ft

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) April 20, 2022

My 3 year old, who doesn’t notice her pants are inside out or that her shoes are on the wrong feet, can spot a diced onion in her food from 3 feet away

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) February 5, 2020

accidentally used my husbands body wash and now i don’t move out of the way when someone’s walking toward me

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) July 10, 2022

My kids don’t mispronounce much anymore but when things are of different colors my seven year old says they are are “Mitch-matched” and so help me if anyone takes that away from me

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) October 7, 2023

son said he was bored so hubby made a game of vacuuming as much dog hair as he could with the cordless vac and he’s almost done the whole house…im married to a parenting wizard

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) October 16, 2021

but have you tried eating more reeses cups?

-me as a therapist

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) April 22, 2021

at the garden center the kids saw a cilantro plant with a picture of tacos on it and were super sad to learn we could not, in fact, grow tacos

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) May 27, 2023

there are two types of people:

those who require subtitles to watch anything and those who can’t stand to have them on at all

and they marry each other

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) August 18, 2022

my window of energy for socializing occurs for ten minutes each afternoon, if you don’t catch me then try again tomorrow

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) February 27, 2023

90% of dog ownership is telling your dog you’re not letting them out because you just let them out and then letting them out

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) October 16, 2022

growing up i wanted to go on adventures

now as an adult i just want to eat bread without consequences

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) September 22, 2022

Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) May 5, 2020

intermittent fasting? i just slept 7 hours without a snack what more do you want from me?

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) May 5, 2021

thoughts and prayers for my husband as our five year old looked him straight in the eyes and told him “your jokes aren’t funny”

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) December 5, 2021

I wear leggings because I no longer wish to know what my pants size is

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) November 22, 2020

My dog failed her obedience test, ate the other dogs snacks and cried in the corner. She is me. I am her. pic.twitter.com/9yuztcsCqx

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) August 22, 2019

did the heroic thing and left the bag of salad mix at the store today, let it rot in someone else’s fridge for once

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) February 21, 2022

4: mom was i in your tummy?

me: yep!

4: who is in there now?

me: no one

4: then why is it so big?

husband: oh no

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) February 23, 2021

I was in a very bad mood today. Then my 3 year old walked over, handed me a rock, patted my face and said “mommy, you’re perfect, here’s a present for you”. And I smiled.

And then I realized the rock was a cat turd.

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) March 12, 2020