20 Hilariously Relatable Tweets For Anyone Who Spoils Their Pets

Them: your pets are spoiled

Me: they are competitively compensated for the user experience they provide

— soren (they/them) (@uxnotyoux) July 7, 2022

Son: We’re having chicken and rice for dinner?

Me: No. That’s for the dogs. Heat up some pizza rolls or something.

— Stacey (@skittle624) August 17, 2019

I sneezed and my husband didn’t say a word.

Fifteen minutes later the dog sneezed.

Husband FROM UPSTAIRS, “BLESS YOU!”

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 26, 2020

if my cat doesn't like you then i can't like you
sorry i don't make the rules

— madison (@mtaucoin) June 5, 2016

My husband: I don’t want a dog. We don’t need a dog. We don’t have time for one.

My husband 2 years later: I read an article about dog emotional well-being & we should stop saying goodbye when we leave because Truffle will be more sad. We don’t want her to worry when we’re out.

— Lindsey Boylan is on bluesky (@LindseyBoylan) February 12, 2023

I want to surprise my wife with plans for a vacation getaway but I want the surprise to be that it’s just me and my dog going.

— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) September 2, 2019

It’s not that I want 2 dogs, I just want to get my dog a dog

— sweatpants cher🔸 (@House_Feminist) June 11, 2021

cat owners will be covered in scratches and scars and just be like these are little love marks from my handsome boy 😊 his name is pillow he's such a little man 🙂

— thomas 🍌 (@perfectsweeties) September 19, 2020

Husband: There’s a credit card charge for $200 to a store called Petacular.
Do you know what that is?

*dog walks by in a Statue of Liberty costume*

Me: Nope.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) July 2, 2021

My 7yo had to measure something for her homework. My husband told her to measure our dog. My 7yo, "it said to measure an object. He's not an object! He's a person!"

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 6, 2022

boss: Why are you late?
[flashback to me trying to find a show the dog would like]
me: Traffic

— Josh (@iwearaonesie) August 21, 2018

Was just petting my boyfriend’s dog and he said “I’m so glad you like her” and I was like “of course how could I not like her, she’s so cute” and my boyfriend was like “no I’m talking to my dog, it would be really awkward if my dog didn’t like you.”

— Colleen (@Coll3enG) August 17, 2022

wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?
me: They’re for the dogs
wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
me: They don’t know how

— Josh (@iwearaonesie) September 14, 2019

WIFE: Stop spending money on stupid stuff
ME: Okay
[later]
WIFE: What the hell?
[dog walks by in a tuxedo]
ME: He's getting married, Karen

— Floyd (@dafloydsta) August 17, 2016

Accidentally stepping on my husband's foot: "Sorry."

Accidentally stepping on my dog's paw:
"Oh my God, I'm SO SORRY! Are you ok buddy?
I'm SO SO sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I LOVE you so much. You want a treat? You're the best boy, yes you are."

— I Might Be Funny (@imightbefunny1) September 26, 2022

Me asleep with an imperceptible nose whistle, wife makes me go to the guest room.

The dog snores, farts, growls, and drools on the pillow, wife makes him the little spoon.

— Bart (@bartandsoul) August 17, 2019

my dad had the dog sit up front while me and my mom and brother sit in the back pic.twitter.com/rEVknWw3Rp

— emily (@spaghemily) March 21, 2016

My husband let the dog outside, watched out the window to make sure he was out of ear range then turned to me and whispered “I got him a new chew rope for Christmas.”

I hope to one day find someone who loves me as much as my husband loves the dog.

— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) December 1, 2022

My wife and I have taken 6 photos together in the last 2 years.

Meanwhile we've taken 93 photos of our dog sleeping since last week.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) December 17, 2023

pic.twitter.com/gyqCbyb04l

— cats being weird little guys 👅 (@weirdlilguys) May 15, 2022