20 Hilarious Quips on Marriage, Parenting, and Middle Age From the Funniest Dad Around

Simon Holland is hands-down one of the funniest guys on the Internet. His quips about marriage, parenting, and middle age are always spot-on and super relatable. I’ve rounded up his most viral tweets for you, some new, some old, but all of them funny.

Hope these bring you some laughs!

Janene

#1 Why is this so true?? I’ve wasted hours of my life dealing with this problem LOL…
#2 Right? Need the right pillow, the right blanket, the right room temperature…and even then I may still wake up!
#3 I need to stick this tweet to my forehead…I will do anything to avoid paying for shipping!
#4 Sounds about right! Which reminds me, I actually do need to call Comcast. So if you don’t hear from me for a few days, I’m probably still on hold. 🙂
#5 Why?? Why do they hate jackets? I get cold just looking at my kids and their friends wearing shorts in freezing temperatures!
#6 Truth!
#7 This is one of Simon Holland’s most viral tweets so I’m guessing it applies to a lot of people, but I, on the other hand, am a night owl. I’m more likely to respond to your 10:37pm text at 1:37am LOL.
#8 Now that’s a dad move right there…
#9 And earned a million dollars worth of Kohl’s cash!
#10 You had me at “quiet”…
#11 It’s the little things…
#12 I bet it had the door-in-door feature…
#13 Speaking both for myself and my husband, this is absolutely correct…
#14 Oh, the innocence of a child…
#15 Backwards math is pretty much the only math I’m decent at…
#16 I’d be thrilled if I ever got an 89 on a science quiz…
#17 I can relate…
#18 Been there, done that! (You can find Simon’s funniest quips on marriage here)
#19 LOL…
#20 Right?? I agree…

If you have a minute to stick around, check out the popular humor post “Meet 18 Funny and Precocious Kids Who Are Ready to Rule the World” https://www.imightbefunny.com/humor/meet-18-funny-and-precocious-kids-who-are-ready-to-rule-the-world/