If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
Why can't medications have positive side effects? Like "may make everything you eat taste like chocolate cake" or "may make you remember why you walked into that room the first time".
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) February 18, 2024
#2
I can't wait for when my daughter's a teenager and loves to sleep so I can come into her room at the crack of dawn, lay next to her and tell her all about how much I love cheese like she did to me this morning.
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) February 26, 2020
#3
i’m pretty good with money unless i walk into target, costco, trader joe’s, tj maxx, a mall, or a bookstore
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) August 4, 2024
#4
time for the card machine industry to decide whether you tap the screen or the top bit. this has gone on too long
— Ed (@ted_pen) August 6, 2024
#5
The biggest lie I tell myself is “you don’t need to write it down, you’ll remember it”
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) July 29, 2024
#6
Some people "Oh no. AI is taking over"
— Rae's a little hell🇨🇦 (@omgshuddup) February 19, 2024
My robot vacuum: "Help i'm stuck in a corner"
#7
I think it’s only fair that if I clean something, it stays clean for all of eternity.
— Stacey (@skittle624) June 26, 2021
#8
I don't understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What's next, more things?? That's how they get you
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) October 21, 2017
#9
Husbands be like ‘let me just do this one thing before we leave’, and that one thing is taking apart the entire washing machine.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) November 6, 2021
#10
dreams are fun because I go to sleep a full-grown adult then spend 8 hours terrorized by my high school locker combination
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 24, 2024
#11
I don’t know why people say bedtime for kids is hard. All I have to do is make sure the room’s exactly 71.3 degrees, give 3 hugs, 1.5 kisses, read 11 bedtime stories, come up with a Broadway musical on the spot, tuck them in, & leave for 5 minutes before bringing them to my bed.
— Jess Carpenter (@JessCarpWrites) June 17, 2020
#12
My kids brought me a mint to try. I commented that it tasted like toothpaste and they said it was hard toothpaste they scraped out of the sink and rolled into mint balls and they want me to be an investor. They call them Breath Balls and DOES ANYBODY WANT TO ADOPT SOME KIDS
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) October 11, 2018
#13
My wife said we need to “evaluate the garage” so there goes my weekend
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) February 24, 2024
#14
canceling plans is ok. staying home to cook is ok. disappearing for a bit to get your life together is ok. resurfacing in a foreign country with a new name 10 years later is ok. it's called self care
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) January 13, 2018
#15
You don’t know pain until your kid draws a picture of you and you’re round.
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) January 21, 2020
#16
Waiting for my husband to leave on his run so I can crack open a pint of ice cream. Marriage is all about balance.
— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) February 26, 2024
#17
Be warned that if you buy your 5 year old a watch, you are going to get minute by minute updates on what the current time is
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) February 27, 2024
#18
How does Dawn dish soap clean oil off of ducks, but it can't get the red spaghetti stains off the inside of Tupperware containers
— Medicated Medic ® (@Housemedic180) February 24, 2025
#19
You think you’ve seen it all and then your 13-year-old blind beagle throws up the French flag in the middle of the night. pic.twitter.com/iNfywwHVfF
— Dr. Mike McClelland 🌈 (@magicmikewrites) February 15, 2024
#20
I cannot cope with this woman who said she hurt her back so badly in a car accident that she couldn't work for 3 years getting her claim thrown out of court for being caught by winning a Christmas tree throwing competition 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/o2bM4gtpA4
— Aisling (@CraicAddict89) February 24, 2024
