If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
On my way home from work, I ran after this bus. I ran so hard people started cheering me on, & the bus driver waited for me. When I hopped on the bus, everyone started clapping.
— I Am Huwa (@heyhuwahere) October 30, 2024
I was 5 seconds in when I realised it was going the wrong way 🥹. I waited 3 stops before getting off.
#2
the walk of shame, but it's just me returning to the trashcan to look at the cooking instructions for the 7th time.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 31, 2024
#3
there should be a "take your friend to work day" so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories
— anu (@anuatluru) November 29, 2023
#4
my three year old asked me to ‘pretend she was 14’ for a minute so i said okay… you’re 14. so what’s your favourite thing to do as a 14 year old? and she replied ‘big girl things… like chopping onions’
— Cardi BTEC (@amelia_perrin) October 26, 2024
#5
I saw my husband open the dishwasher and once he realized it was full of clean dishes he put his hands above his head and slowly backed away like he’d just tripped a wire on a bomb
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) October 21, 2024
#6
My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try
— Manders 🌻 (@SunflowerGpsy) February 7, 2024
#7
My kid, breaking a rule: I DIDN'T KNOOOOOOWWWWW.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) June 14, 2021
My kid, when their sibling is breaking a rule: This rule, established in 2016, when broken, carries a punishment of no dessert and no screen time for the rest of the day.
#8
How dare you drive the speed limit when I’m late to something due to my own poor time management skills
— Theodor Capitani Von Kurnatowski (@ihatejoerogan1) May 16, 2018
#9
bought the kids some candy today while out and it was my wife's favorite. I didn't get her any because she's on a yoga and healthy eating kick. Apparently that did not mean don't buy her candy and does anyone have a place for me to live now?
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 29, 2021
#10
Whoever invented the idea of Garlic bread should have their face printed on every single bank note in the world and have a bank holiday made for them to celebrate such a creation
— Connor (@_ConnorM) October 18, 2019
#11
I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I guess my personality is going to have to do all the work again today
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) October 23, 2024
#12
Filled out the paperwork for my daughter’s 1st passport and under “employment” was told to write “unemployed baby”
— Madelaine Lucas (@madelaine_lucas) January 23, 2024
#13
My kid put his shoe on then asked me what foot the other shoe goes on and just like that his college fund became my vacation fund.
— Moderately Mom (@moderately_mom) June 15, 2021
#14
Just had to take a urine sample to my GP and at reception they asked me “does the doctor know about this already”. No, no. I just brought a cup of my wee as a present. Please don’t spoil the surprise.
— Differently Dave (@GoldenVision90) May 29, 2024
#15
i love the airbnb commercial that makes it seem like they're better than hotels because large groups of people can gather and be up late. as if every airbnb doesn't have house rules against "parties" and "noise" lmao
— charles entertainment cheese (@jmurffff) May 28, 2024
#16
Me: can you say, "I'm good"?
— Tessa 🤱🏻 (@Libraryoftessa) October 19, 2024
Toddler: I good
Me: when someone says, "How are you?" you say, "I'm good."
Toddler: Okay mommy
Me: How are you?
Toddler: I cowboy
#17
there’s a cycle on our dishwasher that’s so long it would be quicker if i just washed them myself, went to lunch, built a model airplane, had dreams about becoming an actor, went on some auditions, got my dreams crushed, moved to the suburbs, started a family, bought a house,
— Sunshine Jarboly (@SunshineJarboly) May 27, 2024
#18
We just need to invent a straw that lasts a little bit longer than 4 seconds but still less than a million years
— Matty (@bestestname) May 26, 2024
#19
— Mike Bong (@WeirdBongs) May 28, 2024
#20
There's a new guy at work named Wayne Bruce, and I said, "Ah, Manbat, my old nemesis."
— Dzintra – Author (@DzintraSullivan) October 29, 2024
Nobody got it.
My talents are wasted there.
