The women of Twitter never fail to make me laugh with funny and relatable quips.
Here’s a quick little round-up of some of my favorite tweets from women this week.
Hope these help you start the weekend off with some smiles!
Janene
#1
The absolute WORST chore is when you clean out your car and put everything in a tote bag and bring it inside and then have to go through the tote bag and put things away in your house. The Ultimate Boss of Bad Chores.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 3, 2024
#2
I think it's funny when people talk about the placement of a hair part being in or out of style, like thanks for the info but my hair does not involve me in any of its decision making processes.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) June 5, 2024
#3
My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse
— LorazeKim ™ 🏴☠️🇺🇸🇮🇹🏁 (@_KimberleyAnna) June 5, 2024
#4
getting old isn’t about age. it’s about genuine excitement to go home and put on soft pants
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) June 6, 2024
#5
Good news: I finally figured out what I want for dinner
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 4, 2024
Bad news: it’s midnight now
#6
Due to circumstances beyond my control… I am at work
— Bex (@more_throttle) June 5, 2024
#7
[me at a restaurant]
— Alison the Read (@alisontheread) June 6, 2024
Server: Oh no! I forgot that you said no mayonnaise. I’m so sorry.
Me: I will eat an entire jar of mayonnaise if it makes you smile. Here’s a tip of 200%.
#8
You bring lunch to work and all of a sudden you starving at 10:45am
— Nae (@NaesCloset) June 5, 2024
#9
i know this will sound crazy but i wore some old ballet flats today – didn’t say it aloud, didn’t type it, didn’t search it, but i suddenly have tons of ads for them and my only conclusion is my iphone cam points at my shoes when i type
— no (@zedonarrival) June 5, 2024
#10
I hate when a new season of a tv show starts without a recap of what happened last season. you expect me to remember? my brain is a little puddle of apple sauce sloshing around my skull. I have lived many lives since then. please just tell me what I need to know
— Gabrielle Drolet (@gabrielledrolet) June 6, 2024
#11
when people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it” i’m like, oh you do not know what i’m capable of
— erica (@ericanextdooor) June 1, 2024
#12
My great-grandmother wore only pajamas from age 90 to 103 and this is the type of legend I aspire to be.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) June 5, 2024
#13
I don’t care what anyone says, you’re a good gardener. Your flowers should have tried harder.
— Cup ☕f Joe. (@I_Bl33d_Purple) June 4, 2024
#14
Don't wear headphones while you're vacuuming.
— mariana Z (@mariana057) June 5, 2024
I just finished the whole house and realized I forgot to plug it in.
#15
no one would be able to tell it was my first rodeo bc i would’ve googled it a bunch beforehand
— chase (@_chase_____) June 4, 2024
#16
made my therapist laugh until she had tears in her eyes & fell out of the zoom frame nothing can stop me now i am her favorite this is what peak performance looks like i have won all of therapy
— sarah rose etter (@sarahroseetter) June 4, 2024
#17
as a matter of fact all of my systems are nervous.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) June 4, 2024
#18
Nothing quite like looking at the way someone else has loaded the dishwasher to remind you that the mind of another is truly unknowable
— 🍃 (@cardamomkiss) June 6, 2024
#19
— CWFudge (@cw_fudge) June 3, 2024
#20
Very rude that image quality improved exponentially as I became worse looking
— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝘆𝗸𝗲 (@im_all_id) June 6, 2024
#21
Instead of “Take Your Child To Work Day” there should be a “Take Your Therapist To Work Day” so they can see exactly what you’ve been talking about
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) June 3, 2024
#22
my brain when i’m hormonal and overstimulated pic.twitter.com/OJ1QMj36WW
— Sarah (@itssarahdutcher) June 2, 2024
#23
No one talks about the real problem with exercising: you have to keep doing it.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) June 8, 2024
#24
My friend is a pilot and I told him I was having a bad day and he told me to go outside at exactly 12:50 and look up
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) June 7, 2024
and, not gonna lie, my day got better pic.twitter.com/L2jL6b10oh
#25
Just killed a wasp all by myself so if you need me I’ll be busy growing chest hair and cleaning out the garage.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) June 6, 2024