Another week and and another round of funny and relatable quips from women.
Hope these bring some smiles to your day!
Janene
#1
Sorry but January doesn’t start until Monday, not having this midweek new year, new me nonsense, I’ll rebrand on Monday.
— Rebekka (@rebekkarnold) January 2, 2025
#2
HPG: You really shouldn’t be feeding stray cats. That black one keeps coming around. You’re not feeding him, right?
— Among the Wildflowers (@deaflibertarian) December 30, 2024
Me: First of all, his name is Shadow.
#3
Anyone else find changing a king size duvet cover and wrestling the fitted sheet onto the mattress so tiring they’d like a wee lie down afterwards or is this just a me problem?
— lindsay littleson (@ljlittleson) December 30, 2024
#4
Me: Chooses a film to watch because it’s less than 2 hours long.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) January 4, 2025
Also me: Pauses the film so many times to look up what other things I recognise the actors from, and then research every single detail of their lives, that it ends up taking me 4 hours to finish the film.
#5
“this is totally gonna be my year” i say as i eat cheesecake with my bare hands at 4am
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) January 2, 2025
#6
"circling back" on January 2nd is rude, the new year is still defrosting RELAX
— ada enechi (@adaenechi) January 2, 2025
#7
I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching
— who cares (@DianaG2772) January 2, 2025
#8
January 1st: anything is possible
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) January 2, 2025
January 2nd: but not today
#9
Went to Costco for 1 item; left Costco with that 1 item.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) January 2, 2025
Everyone clap.
#10
The older I get the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public
— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) December 29, 2024
#11
i have terrible news to share that i've stopped using my phone 2 hours before i go to bed every night and it really does improve sleep and energy levels and has improved quality of life tremendously. i'm so sorry
— Steph Mui (@stephmui) December 30, 2024
#12
my dad would read teen books as they were becoming popular so if we asked to read them he knew if they were appropriate, which means that he read the entire twilight saga before i did and was like, "i mean you can read it if you want but it's really weird."
— emily may (@emilykmay) January 2, 2025
#13
once took a vacation on a beautiful african island and the thing i remember most was meeting a british guy who said “im from a small town, you may know us by our sauce…. worcestershire”
— emily (@cicadaxxseason) December 31, 2024
#14
We are going to a black tie NYE party that my husband has known about for months. It starts in 2 hours. I spent months planning my outfit and asking his opinion on this dress vs. that dress. The one I chose is hanging on the closet door.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 31, 2024
H, “Wait, is this like a dress up deal?”
#15
'Shall I throw away these leftovers?'
— Lucy Worsley (@Lucy_Worsley) December 28, 2024
'No – it's best practice to put them in the fridge, leave them there for a week, and THEN throw them away.'
#16
As you get older, your ability to successfully finish a movie in one sitting will disappear.
— annie. (@cri_babe) December 28, 2024
#17
To anybody I offended this year:
— Diana Dukic (@diana_dukic) December 30, 2024
Work on yourself so I don't have to do it again in 2025
#18
this year, i had a thousand chances to waste money & i took them all.
— femiiiiii. (@femiiiiii_) December 29, 2024
#19
my father always told me: “if you want to go for a run, go for a run, don’t look for company. sooner or later, on your fifth run or your twentieth, like-minded people will find you themselves.” and only recently have i realized that this principle works everywhere.
— blue (@bluewmist) December 29, 2024
#20
my 92-year-old grandma just said “soon we’re gonna need a password to open our eyes in the morning” honestly she’s so real
— trash jones (@jzux) December 31, 2024
