Another week and and another round of funny and relatable quips from women.
Hope these bring some smiles to your day!
Janene
#1
everyone on this flight out of Philly was relying on the guy who shelled out for in flight wifi to periodically announce the score on the eagles game like the town crier in a midsized medieval village
— Victoria (@fakehockeyteam) January 5, 2025
#2
Today I told the "why is six afraid of seven" joke to a class of first graders who had either never heard it, or just suddenly understood it. Three kids literally fell out of their chairs and rolled on the floor. Apex moment, never topping it.
— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) January 9, 2025
#3
Others: I run so I can eat pizza
— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) January 7, 2025
Me: I just…eat pizza
#4
Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why
— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) January 5, 2025
#5
I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us
— Shannon (@gardengirl125) January 7, 2025
#6
I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 5, 2025
#7
I hate when people say “take it one day at a time”. What else am I supposed to do? Skip tuesday?!
— Katie (@ALadyNamedKatie) January 7, 2025
#8
2 minutes until the end of an extraordinarily hectic day and one of my kindergartners trudged up to me and said “I just want to be home eating cereal with a blanket” like from your mouth to God’s ears buddy
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) January 9, 2025
#9
when people say frozen grapes are just like eating ice cream it’s like oh a lot of people are eating ice cream in a way that is so scary to me
— madison (@altmadaf) January 9, 2025
#10
Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) January 9, 2025
#11
I know my cat hates it when I squish her little face but I don’t do it nearly as many times as I want to and she should be grateful for that
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 10, 2025
#12
My husband bought himself a small pizza and me a salad. So, that was a fun marriage.
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) January 6, 2025
#13
Hobbies? I have hobbies, what do you call looking at houses online that are way out of my price range and judging their kitchens
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 9, 2025
#14
Asked husband for my water from the kitchen and he said “I don’t see it” so I was like “I don’t believe u” so he started angrily searching for it grumbling “don’t believe me, why would I lie what would I gain from it” under his breath for 10 mins. Anyways the water was next to me
— kourtney (@kourtneyinhell) January 10, 2025
#15
my boyfriend and i aren’t big on pet names and occasionally opt for “beloved” or “sweetheart” but recently he’s been calling me Meatball Tony im afraid this is the one that’s really stuck
— Grace (@gracecamille_) January 10, 2025
#16
When my husband asks if he can get something out of my purse, I have to give him full-on GPS instructions: “It’s in the main compartment, to the right of the trail mix. And if you even look at my trail mix, I swear…”
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) January 7, 2025
#17
I could never write a cookbook because deep down I think you should use however much cheese/sugar/butter feels right in your heart.
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) January 10, 2025
#18
I consider my day a success if I leave my house wearing matching socks
— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) January 10, 2025
#19
Does running away from my problems count as cardio?
— Shannon (@gardengirl125) January 6, 2025
#20
I’ve been rewatching all the seasons of E.R. and I’m pretty confident I could clamp an aorta now if needed.
— Whatever_Amy (@Whatevah_Amy) January 10, 2025
