The women of Twitter never fail to make me laugh with funny and relatable quips.
Here’s a quick little round-up of some of my favorite tweets from women this week.
Hope these bring some smiles to your day!
Janene
#1
my staff bought shake shack today since it’s our last day on this rotation and there were extra burgers so I shoved 3 into my purse for later and now everyone is calling me “purse burgers” and I fear this nickname will follow me
— Kayla (@kaylamellis_) October 10, 2024
#2
Yesterday I said to my kindergarteners “alright my little noodles” and one of my boys whispered to himself in wonder “I’m spaghetti?”
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) October 11, 2024
#3
I made my kids watch Airplane and they didn’t think it was funny and I just don’t know where to go from here.
— Stacey (@skittle624) October 6, 2024
#4
Why are you, a restaurant website, gatekeeping your online menu by making me choose delivery or pick-up, when I merely need to mentally rehearse my drive-thru order
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 10, 2024
#5
Me: “watching an exercise reel on instagram” I could do that
— Heatherhere 👽 (@Heatinblack) October 6, 2024
My body: are you serious? have you seen us?
#6
My husband had a coworker who entered his baby in the local fair's baby competition a while ago and I think they just make up superlatives for all of the babies because his won "sturdiest baby"
— 🍃 (@cardamomkiss) October 12, 2024
#7
Tried to make a friendly comment about how I liked my neighbor’s very autumnal outfit, but I swerved too hard into friendliness, soared past over-familiarity, and landed on the arguably hostile “well if it isn’t Mr. Fall”
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) October 10, 2024
#8
One day you’re young and next day you realize you will never find a pillow that works ever again
— Dx: Moonstruck (@moonstruckinnyc) October 7, 2024
#9
Did you know that you can get home from a trip and immediately unpack your suitcase?
— your other spooky mom (@difficultpatty) October 9, 2024
#10
Haven’t gotten a little treat in a while so I’m rewarding myself for that with a little treat
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 9, 2024
#11
To my high school classmates who voted me “most likely to succeed” I have some devastating news
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) October 9, 2024
#12
looking forward to another week where all the stuff I want to accomplish depends on a sense of self-discipline and executive functioning I've never once possessed in my life
— Anjali (@AnjaliVBhatt) October 7, 2024
#13
I’m never more delusional than when I say yes to watching a movie after 7pm.
— your other spooky mom (@difficultpatty) October 8, 2024
#14
me: I need nothing on Prime Day
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) October 9, 2024
also me: I should tab through every single page just to make sure
#15
The USPS emailing to tell me I have no mail and no packages coming today seems a tad passive aggressive.
— Marissa 💚💛🍃🍁🍂 (@michimama75) October 6, 2024
#16
My 16yo came and got me really late last night and asked me to come into his room. Which was alarming.
— Dinah (@dinahaddie) October 11, 2024
It was the Northern Lights. He could see them from his bedroom window and wanted me to see them too.
I’m going to remember that forever.
#17
Maybelline great lash mascara https://t.co/GfGilv5Auy
— Odessa✨🦂 (@missodessa) October 12, 2024
#18 Costco pumpkin pie for the win!
Tomorrow my dad's side of the family celebrates Canadian Thanksgiving. In honor of my grandfather (who passed in 2019) I am making a pumpkin pie, just like he always did. I am making it come from Costco to my aunt's house, just like he always did. ❤️
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) October 11, 2024
#19
From my Facebook memories:
— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) October 11, 2024
1st Grader: Sometimes when I lose my tooth, I have to wait to get the money from the tooth fairy until my mom's next payday.
3rd Grader: Yeah, because the tooth fairy isn't real.
1st Grader: No, because the tooth fairy has the same payday as my mom.
#20
It was called “MapQuest” and we had to print the pages with directions to places before we left the house. pic.twitter.com/tNMmwL5pwG
— CleverlyChloé (@CleverlyChloe) October 9, 2024
