Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
my kid is obsessed with the construction happening on our block and wouldn’t go inside to get out of his pajamas because he was too enthralled, so one of the workers said “you need to go inside and get dressed so you can help us, it’s not safe to wear your pajamas to work”
— mindy🌷 (@mindyisser) July 22, 2024
#2
Travelled for a week-long tropical vacation since my wife and kids wouldn’t stop nagging me about going for the past year and it was wonderful. Maybe next time I will take the kids. Probably the wife too.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) July 22, 2024
#3
my daughter gave me $4 last night. this morning she gave me one more dollar & said “put this toward the rent.” alright now that’s enough.
— B 🦋 (@DontWorryBoutB) July 20, 2024
#4
Kids are so spectacularly weird. My 4yo just started laughing hysterically, I asked her what was so funny and she said ‘imagine if Mommy had to go poop at grandpa’s house’
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) July 24, 2024
#5
Me, picking my son up from zillion dollar camp: “What was the best part of your day?”
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) July 22, 2024
Him: “When you took us to the car wash”
#6
Sometimes I think having an only child sounds nice, but after having three kids I can tell you this. Nothing compares to the smile you see on a child’s face and the way their eyes light up when they have a sibling who is getting in trouble.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) July 25, 2024
#7
Told my kids that for 24 hours they aren’t allowed to ask me for anything that costs money, and it suddenly got very quiet around here.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) July 22, 2024
#8
My house is full of 13 year old boys & they are playing hide and seek. I was drinking a cup of tea on my sofa when – about 7 minutes after I sat down – one erupted from underneath the beanbag next to me & screamed “I WIN, MEATBAGS” & I want to book into a hotel until September
— Felicity Hannah (@FelicityHannah) July 24, 2024
#9
Before I leave for any vacation, my first order of business is to manaically clean my house like the queen will be staying there while we’re away.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) July 25, 2024
#10
I'm not sure how it's possible for a room to be messier after cleaning it, but my 7yo made it happen.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) July 25, 2024
#11
My kids were watching me cook and now they want to know why I throw the box out and then take it out of the garbage to read the directions
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 22, 2024
#12
My 8-year-old poked his head into the room and said "By the way, you need to call a rat guy," and I said "what?" and he said "We've got rats," and then left. What am I supposed to do with this quasi-information
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) July 23, 2024
#13
Once I accepted that the rocks my youngest brings into the house are now indoor rocks and stopped trying to understand why, my life became much more Zen.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) July 24, 2024
#14
My kid said I’m almost halfway to 100 so I gave him broccoli for breakfast.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) July 24, 2024
#15
I told my 4yo I really liked his shirt and he goes “thanks I got it on Amazon on sale”. Excuse me, I bought that shirt for you and not on Amazon, sir. (Was on sale, though).
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 23, 2024
#16
why is my 5 year old crying?
— lane🌈🖤 (@7duncans) July 23, 2024
he got dog hair on his feet and he’s going to be a werewolf now.
#17
My daughter met another toddler at the playground and my kid was like “What’s your name? Wow, that’s a beautiful name. Look at how strong you are! I love your shoes!”
— Robert Komaniecki (@Komaniecki_R) July 21, 2024
And it took me a second to realize she was copying what I do when I meet a baby 😂
#18
Me: “Who stuffed a Z-bar wrapper in the couch?
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) July 24, 2024
Two kids: “Not me, I don’t like them!” (The Picky Ones™️)
One kid: “I throw my wrappers away.” (Oldest daughter, ofc she does)
Last child: “I usually sit at the other end of the couch so my stuffed wrappers are under there.”
#19
Me: if I don’t emotionally engage with my baby every second I’m with her, she won’t love me 😢
— Cartoons Hate Her! (@CartoonsHateHer) July 25, 2024
My baby’s absolute favorite person: her big brother who shouts “go away baby!” every time he sees her
#20
All right, Little boxes of Fruit Loops!
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 26, 2024
-My kids walking into the $34 per person resort breakfast buffet.
And if you’ve never seen this video before, it’s adorable (make sure the sound is on!)…
@coffeencrusts Where it all started 🤣🥦 #funnytoddler #toddlertok #toddlersoftiktok #toddlermom
♬ original sound – Tina
