Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
My 4yo and 20mo were playing house and they were neighbors. The 20mo had five babies she was taking care of. 4yo lies down and goes “I’m going to bed. Too bad Winnie can’t go to bed right away, she’s got five kids to put to bed but not me, I’ve just got a cat.”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 28, 2024
#2
Sitting in stunned, jealous awe cos my eight year old nephew just earnestly referred to the famine as a "potato outage".
— The author, Séamas O'Reilly (@shockproofbeats) October 27, 2024
#3
my three year old asked me to ‘pretend she was 14’ for a minute so i said okay… you’re 14. so what’s your favourite thing to do as a 14 year old? and she replied ‘big girl things… like chopping onions’
— Cardi BTEC (@amelia_perrin) October 26, 2024
#4
4yo put a bookmark against her car window and it slipped down into the car door
— Matt Bateman (@mbateman) October 26, 2024
Apparently it was an unfathomably precious object to her
So today we are learning how to remove a car door panel
#5
next time you preheat your oven just give it a little looksy to make sure a toddler didn’t put crayons in it when she was playing “cook”
— Taylor Schumann (@taylorsschumann) October 27, 2024
#6
help my 3yo keeps asking me why every day is different and none of my answers have satisfied her
— 🌾🍁🍂 bosco 🍂🍁🌾 (@selentelechia) October 27, 2024
#7
I told my 4 year old it’s too cold for shorts and she said, “Why are you making me mad when I want to be happy?” 😂😂😂😂
— wiz fajita (@trillary_banks_) October 28, 2024
#8
My toddler just handed me some muffin and said “Eat!” I asked if she was sure, she said yes, so I took a small bite. I asked if she wanted some, she said no, so I kept going. This went on for several minutes. I finally finished it…and she started crying because I ate her muffin.
— Aaron Hoyland (@aaronhoyland) October 27, 2024
#9
My 9-year-old beat the system. I asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween and he said fisherman so he got new fishing pants and a fishing vest and a fishing hat. He's all set up now for one night to trick or treat and a whole year of fishing.
— et*ceTera (@notincharge7) October 31, 2024
#10
Me: I’ll let you know when dinner is ready
— kidversations (@kidversations_) October 26, 2024
5: We’ll hear the alarm
Me: I didn’t set an alarm
5: No, the fire alarm
#11
Hardest part of Halloween was telling my kids they couldn't have a piece of candy before bed without them noticing the Skittles in my mouth.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 1, 2024
#12
the walk of shame, but it's just me returning to the trashcan to look at the cooking instructions for the 7th time.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 31, 2024
#13
I finally figured out where to hide the Halloween candy so I wouldn’t eat it all, just wish I could remember where that was
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 31, 2024
#14
My daughter has been super nice lately and encouraging me to take naps so I can rest and I just discovered that while I’ve been doing that she’s been slowly decimating my secret candy stash
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 28, 2024
#15
Not to be dramatic but having to figure out what to eat everyday and what to feed kids everyday is literally ruining my life.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 30, 2024
#16
We just played Monopoly with the kids for the first time. I probably hadn’t played it in 30 years and I’d honestly forgotten how fun it is to watch your loved ones slowly devolve into the absolute worst versions of themselves.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 30, 2024
#17
I just want my kids to go to bed so I can shove 6 Kit Kats in my mouth in peace. Like a lady.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 31, 2024
#18
7 year old: two of the boys at school were executed for fighting
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 30, 2024
me: you mean ‘expelled’?
7 year old: I’m pretty sure about this one, dad
#19
Someone in my neighborhood handed out whistles to the trick-or-treaters and that is just diabolical
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 1, 2024
#20
my 9 year old asked to skip school tomorrow so we can decorate our house for christmas. she’s not playing. 😂
— droid mom (@droidxmom) October 31, 2024
