Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
We told my 4yr old I was pregnant and she was NOT happy about it. After she cried in her bed she came downstairs hands on hips and asked in the most accusatory tone “And where exactly is this new baby gonna sleep?” like we were two teens who hadn’t thought this pregnancy through
— Mandalynns23 (@mandalynns23) October 10, 2024
#2
Right before she fell asleep, my 3 year old said “tomorrow I’m going to practice my new scream in the living room”
— neature vs norture (@chionogirl) October 7, 2024
#3
My 9 y/o daughter just said:
— PhD Loading | Déjà Rollins (@DRollins_) October 4, 2024
“Someone needs to invent a phone that stays in the house that everyone can hear and answer.”
Y’all….🫢🥲
#4
my son ordering a “well done” steak bc he thought it meant they would do a better job
— . (@NoEmmeG) October 4, 2024
#5
At the zoo with my 6 yr old and we found the sloths. It was looking right at us, so I waved
— Taryn T, Duchess of the Blue Sea 🇺🇸 (@Talyn777) October 8, 2024
6 yr: I’m not going to wave. Do you know how long it’s going take for him to wave back?
🤣😂😅
#6
Gosh you really start learning more about yourself when your toddler starts becoming conversational and repeats everything you say. Cause right now she is walking around the house saying “it’s too much”
— Taylor Schumann (@taylorsschumann) October 9, 2024
#7
my teenager came out into the living room and is sitting here with me. Idk what to do. What's happening. Is this the twilight zone? does he know he's not in his room?
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 9, 2024
#8
My 4-year-old just monologued at me for 25 minutes, paused, and then said "Can I tell you something?"
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 10, 2024
#9
My 7yo with someone she just met, "My mom has a dairy allergy, and my dad has a kidney stone. It's gonna hurt when he pees it out."
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) October 4, 2024
#10
It's 80s day at my son's school, so I guess in art class they'll be making ashtrays for their grandparents.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) October 10, 2024
#11
My 6yo is procrastinating falling asleep by coming up with ideas to solve the world’s waste management crisis, and I think I’m just gonna let this one ride and see what he comes up with.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 9, 2024
#12
We had grits for breakfast this morning and the 1.5yo was refusing to eat any and my 4yo goes “maybe she doesn’t know the truth about grits”. What does that mean.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 11, 2024
#13
A haunted house but just for dads and in each room is a family member messing with the thermostat.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 7, 2024
#14
8: but grandma let me
— Marissa 💚💛🍃🍁🍂 (@michimama75) October 7, 2024
Me: well my mom is cooler than yours
#15
Terrible news. My 9yo has informed us that she's "allergic to chores."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) October 6, 2024
#16
While my daughter is out of town, I cleaned her car thoroughly inside and out. This feels like one of the daddest things I’ve ever dadded
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) October 8, 2024
#17
Watched a dude carry a screaming toddler across the parking lot. He noticed me looking at him and said, "He's mine, I'm not stealing him." And then, before I could reply, he added, "If I was gonna take one, it definitely wouldn't be this one"
— MA LE BO (@Melo_Malebo) October 10, 2024
#18
My 6yo asked me how many steps he's taken total in his life, and I have not had enough coffee to get through this conversation
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 6, 2024
#19
brother-in-law: guess how many miles I cycled today?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) October 8, 2024
my 10yo: I don't know, 4000?
him: no, 100.
10: oh, well hang in there and keep practicing!
#20
Mom, how old were you when the Titanic sank?
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 11, 2024
— my 6yo, removing himself from my will
