I’ve always thought nine to be a great age, where kids are curious and smart, but not quite at those edgy tween years just yet.
I’ve rounded up 20 of the funniest tweets about life with 9-year-olds here – hope they bring you some laughs!
Janene
#1
Me: Why are you still in bed?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 30, 2019
9-year-old: Someone turned off my alarm.
Me: Was it you?
9: Yes.
#2
My 9yo said “Raking is good because it’s like scratching the Earth’s back,” and this is basically one of the top 5 reasons I had kids.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 7, 2018
#3
My kids saw mail I received that was addressed to me as “Mr.” and then my 9yo asked “Why do you have a mister in front of your name? I didn’t know you were an important person.”
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) April 15, 2024
#4
As a reward for good grades my 9yo got to pick tonight’s restaurant so we are headed out for some fine dining at The 24 Hour Donut King.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 1, 2024
#5
9-year-old: I need to change into my pajamas.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 27, 2023
Me: You're already in pajamas.
9: These are my daytime pajamas.
She's living her best life.
#6
9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea."
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 20, 2022
#7
9yo: Do you prefer chocolate or vanilla?
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 2, 2024
Me: Depends on the day
9yo: Let’s say it’s a Tuesday
#8
My 9 y/o told me he sat alone at lunch yesterday. When I asked why, he said…“Bc Melinda likes to mix her applesauce w/ ketchup and eat it…It’s gross, and I’m done dealin with that…She can just be nasty by herself.”
— floorboard (@StruggleDisplay) March 2, 2023
Fair enough. No notes.
#9
“That’s horrible ! I’m never getting married !”
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) December 4, 2023
– My 9yo, after I told her my wife and I no longer surprise each other with gifts, we just tell each other what we want
#10
Excellent news! My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 20, 2022
#11
Just learned our 9y/o did an experiment on us. Lost tooth, told no one for 3d, kept tooth under his pillow. No $. Then he tells us he lost the tooth, next night there is money under his pillow. Then confronted us with his scientific evidence that the tooth fairy isn't real.
— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 23, 2018
#12
9yo, first time at a buffet: "Is this how kings live?"
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) December 31, 2021
#13
My 9 year old has wanted to bake a cake for weeks and today after I finished work we finally did it. Being so busy means it’s easy to forget about making memories with my kids – I can tell she loved every four minutes of it before she went to watch TV and left me to do it all
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) November 24, 2022
#14
9-year-old: You look different.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 25, 2020
Me: Your mom gave me a new haircut.
9: Was she mad at you?
#15
Apparently my 9yo daughter's imaginary friend is the ghost of an 8yo girl named Rose who died of the bubonic plague 200 years ago and I’m sure this is a completely normal developmental stage……..
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) February 24, 2024
#16
My 9yo just made a poster for his new math tutoring service, which he claims is "free," "easy," and "not under investigation by the state."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 26, 2022
#17
Our fave ice cream shop got robbed and my 9yo started bawling. I couldn’t understand why until she said “SOMEONE STOLE ALL THE ICE CREAM?!”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) April 18, 2024
#18
9 wrote a song called “My Mummy Has A Squishy Tummy” and he’s singing it while his brother and sister play harmonica and bongos and I seem to have unlocked an ultimate level of parenting hell
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) September 14, 2021
#19
My 9yo took the time to make this sign rather than just throwing the bag away herself, I’m gonna need a minute pic.twitter.com/1rjqTPWBEC
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 5, 2022
#20
9-year-old: Can we order pizza?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 27, 2020
Me: Yes.
9: You didn't even fight it.
Me: I'm too tired.
9: Can I have a pony?
