A sense of humor is imperative to a long term marriage, because let’s face it, marriage isn’t always easy.
I’ve collected the best marriage tweets from June to share with you here.
Hope you will laugh and relate!
Janene
#1
I had no plans today. My wife found out and boy did I have a lot of plans today I didn't know about.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 3, 2023
#2
If my wife and I start a movie after 8PM it becomes a two night mini-series.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) June 20, 2023
#3
We have 25 people coming over tomorrow for a bbq. 6 moms. 6 dads. 13 toddlers under the age of 4. My husband said if I took our girls out today that he’d ‘get the house ready.’ What did he clean in the 2 hours we were gone? The top of the fridge. He cleans the TOP OF THE FRIDGE.
— Shit I tell my toddler (@Toddler_talkin) June 25, 2023
#4
"I just refilled our bathroom's soap pump, the same day I noticed it was empty…"
— Michael Vogel (@MichaelVogel1) June 23, 2023
-Me, flirting with my wife
#5
My husband may be winning this argument but little does he know I’m about to bring up something he said 10 years that has absolutely no relevance to what we’re arguing about.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 4, 2023
#6
I asked my husband if he likes my new makeup better than my old makeup and he got this panicked look on his face, shouted something about a trap, and I haven’t seen him since
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 5, 2023
#7
Sometimes I just sit and admire the gray in my husband's beard, how distinguished it's becoming, and think "I DID THAT"
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) June 7, 2023
#8
Unloading the dishwasher loudly at 6:30am is the best way to get credit for it
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 3, 2023
#9
I know that when my husband gets home late tonight he’s going to eat all the chips so this leaves me with no choice but to eat all the chips first
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 7, 2023
#10
There are two types of people: Those who get to the airport four hours early and still worry about missing their flight, and those who think the final boarding call is a good time to go grab Starbucks, and they marry each other.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) June 13, 2023
#11
Whenever I hear my wife banging things around in some other part of the house, I know something is my fault or is going to be my fault
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 15, 2023
#12
Idk…if IKEA was smart they’d have divorce lawyers set up in the cafeteria just chillin next to the horse meatballs and Smörgåstårta
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) June 27, 2023
#13
*quietly adjusts thermostat*
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) June 16, 2023
my husband from a hotel room 2800 miles away: whatcha doing
#14
Mom grocery shopping alone: $130
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) June 16, 2023
Mom grocery shopping w/ kids joining: $175
Mom grocery shopping w/ kids & husband joining: $4085
#15
We were on a strict schedule to leave the house on time and I asked my husband to give the kids breakfast while I showered, so naturally that was when he decided to take the shutters off the windows and power wash them.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 19, 2023
#16
marriage is a sacred union between a person who drinks water and another person who refills their water for them and also their own
— shereen (@shereeny) June 20, 2023
#17
My wife and I decided to tell each other one thing about the other that bothered them. Everything was going great until it was my turn.
— Crac⚡ked (@a_simpl_man) June 3, 2023
#18
Me: “We need to leave here no later than 11am.”
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) June 22, 2023
Also me: Showers, gets dressed, gets both kids ready and dressed, teeth brushed, ready to go by 10:50.
Husband: Gets in shower at 10:57
#19
My wife texted me this picture of her cart at Costco with the caption, "This is why I always beat you at Tetris." Savage. I think I'm in love. pic.twitter.com/sNPOUoxr2v
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 6, 2023
#20
I opened a new box of cereal before finishing the old one.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 23, 2023
My wife hasn't noticed yet.
I'm living on borrowed time.