Every month I peruse the internet for the funniest, most relatable quips about our beloved pets.
Here are the ones that made us laugh the most in 2024…enjoy!
Janene
#1
Woke up at 3am to find my cat eating a slice of my pizza on my chest. The pizza was downstairs in the kitchen. Dragged it upstairs to eat it off my body.
— Lillie (@lillie_arghn) June 29, 2024
#2
I love being a cat owner. They’re such easy pets to- STOP ATTACKING THE CURTAINS! QUIT EATING THE PLASTIC BAG YOU ALMOST DIED LAST TIME- but like I was saying very low maintenance pets
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 17, 2024
#3
I know so many people with cats and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat.
— Dr. Laura Robinson (@LauraRbnsn) June 6, 2024
Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that's like "yeah he just moved in."
#4
Oh, you don’t let your pets on the furniture? I’d probably let my cat borrow my car if he asked nicely
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) May 1, 2024
#5
“wow,” said the two-year-old neighbor boy petting one of our cats for the first time, “there are bones in here”
— rachelle toarmino (@rchlltrmn) June 23, 2024
#6
Me to me after one tiny mistake: you useless idiot
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 16, 2024
Me to my cat who committed 100 crimes in the past hour: my furry little angel, you are perfection my toe bean queen
#7
Y’all, this woman’s neighbor’s cat got her cat pregnant and so now she randomly gets drop offs of cat food with the words “Child Support” tape to the bag.
— ✨Kei$ha✨ (@GlamazonJay) May 3, 2024
#8
one thing I like saying to my cats in admonishment is "you know the rules" when they very clearly do not know and will never know the rules
— Lena (@banalplay) June 19, 2024
#9
you spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them "for god's sake" and "please stop"
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) September 12, 2024
#10
They say that the bond between parent and child is the strongest thing but actually it is the bond between a dad and the pet he told his wife and children he didn’t want, sorry if this offends
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) October 12, 2024
#11
Adopting a cat with a weird little meow is like winning the lottery
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) May 4, 2024
#12
phone sales rep: may I speak with the head of the household pls?
— Dx: Moonstruck (@moonstruckinnyc) July 1, 2022
me: just a sec, he’s using the litter box
#13
Being a cat must be hard because you have sharp pointy teeth and claws but can also be picked up and carried like a baby
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) July 15, 2024
#14
No one:
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) April 19, 2024
My cat at 4:12 am: These curtains are stupid, I’m taking them down
#15
Sometimes when I fall asleep on my couch my cat will move the curtains and sun falls directly in my face waking me up and I can’t prove it but I know she does it on purpose
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) April 24, 2024
#16
A festive tale in three acts. pic.twitter.com/XkSEOJgrAV
— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) December 20, 2024
#17
My cat started gagging so I put down a paper towel for her to throw up on and look what she did 😑 pic.twitter.com/EAsScgD7oT
— Dr. fem boi magnet (@La_calderone) June 22, 2024
#18
so jealous of cats to be honest. imagine being a huge bitch literally all the time and the person who takes care of you is like awwwwwww
— trash jones (@jzux) May 5, 2024
#19
Did you know? pic.twitter.com/UN9gCSYFZc
— Why you should have a cat (@ShouldHaveCat) February 23, 2024
#20
feeding your friends cat when they’re out of town feels like hanging with a guy you never hang out with alone and you’re not really sure what to talk about without your mutual friend there. so ummm you like wet food? that’s cool that’s cool
— Cat Elgarrista (@cat_elg) November 25, 2024
