One of the best parts of social media is camaraderie with others, especially when it comes to parenting.
The moms and dads on social media keep me laughing, and also feeling like I’m not alone on this crazy ride!
I’ve compiled 20 of the funniest, most relatable parenting tweets…enjoy!
Janene
#1
My wife is hilarious
— Dad 2.0 – New year same depression (@DadaBaseThought) May 11, 2023
We’ve been trying to get ahold of our sons daycare corporate for 4 months and they literally do not answer phones or email
She applied for a job and when they contacted her for an interview she asked to be transferred to the person we needed to talk to
#2
My kid had a sleepover and in the morning I offered to make waffles, but the friend said they couldn’t eat gluten or sugar or dairy, so I offered scrambled eggs and this kid goes…”Do you have duck eggs?”
— 🥴steph🥴 (@eff_yeah_steph) December 7, 2019
Um. I’m sorry child this is not Scotland 1745, it’s my house.
#3
Spent ten minutes scrubbing the wall thinking my kids left a huge stain on it and then realized it was my own shadow. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) October 9, 2022
#4
My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “Is it because of your hair?” Now I’m crying for two reasons.
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) November 17, 2024
#5
My son had a meltdown because his sister accidentally stepped on his piece of popcorn shaped "perfectly like an octopus" and he was saving it for "his collection." I don't know about this collection. I don't want to know about this collection.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 4, 2021
#6
My 6-year-old is very set on writing and drawing his own comic books, but he says his problem right now is that he “can’t really read and write yet” AND he doesn’t “own a good stapler.”
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) January 9, 2024
#7
Apparently my kid got in trouble today for PACKING OUR TOASTER IN HIS BACKPACK and pulling it out at lunch to make pop tarts for his class. I can’t stop laughing.
— Elisa Stone Leahy MALLORY IN FULL COLOR (@ElisaStoneLeahy) April 13, 2022
#8
Y’all. I woke up with a headache and I hear my 9 year old son in the kitchen, so I asked him to bring me some water and an Aleve. He brings me some water AND A LEAF. When I tell you I have tears from laughing so hard.
— Nicole ✨ (@BombshellCole) November 9, 2024
#9
Legit call from the school:
— who cares (@DianaG2772) March 8, 2023
Principal: I just wanted to touch base with you. Your daughter was baiting seagulls into the playground with gummy worms and actually caught one; Like in her arms. It did bite her—not hard, but I needed to inform you that we filed an incident report
#10
My 8yo had his hair styled nicely this morning so I asked what he put in it to look so good……and he said it was oil from the pan I roasted broccoli in last night.
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) June 6, 2023
You really can’t make this stuff up.
#11
[Diner]
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) October 12, 2022
Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free
*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*
my 6 year-old: im a police
#12
Told my kids I couldn’t find the hot cocoa powder to which my 4yo said, “maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed” which is a suspiciously specific theory.
— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) October 27, 2023
#13
My 8yo had the audacity to ask me why I cross my legs when I sneeze.
— Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) September 11, 2022
You, dude. You are the reason.
#14
Just walked to the grocery store at 10 PM and saw a disgruntled father walking out with his teen daughter, who was holding a tri-fold poster board and looked harried. Pray for this family.
— Alyssa Leader (@alittleleader) May 21, 2024
#15
Mom’s are geniuses 🤣 this lady on TikTok told her 4 year old son that if he willingly goes to school and behaves 5 days a week she’ll let him skip 2 days and do whatever he likes 🤣❤️ oh the day little man discovers the weekend there will be blood!😭
— Stallion 🐎 (@nosi____) July 19, 2024
#16
“You knew what you were getting into when you had children”
— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) January 25, 2022
Did I? Did I know that I’d be arguing with a 4yo that we don’t lick peoples feet? DID I KNOW THAT?
#17
My kids had money to spend at the store. My daughter bought a toy and my son bought….a rotisserie chicken.
— Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine) August 7, 2022
#18
My daughter said she can’t wait to have kids. I asked her why and she said “so they can bring me stuff when it’s in another room.”
— Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine) March 19, 2022
#19
This is Jetty. He never wants to hear you complain about his barking again. 13/10 pic.twitter.com/6n7Jh45Dsu
— WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) December 1, 2022
#20
I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it. When I asked my child if she put anything in mommy’s bed, she said “I did not put butter in it.” The mystery continues. More at 11.
— LL Cool Tweet (@LLcoooltweet) June 7, 2022
