Here’s a little round-up of some funny posts I thought you would enjoy.
Hope these bring you some laughs and hope you have a great week!
Janene
#1
my husband, a brilliant man who has 2 masters degrees: i just saw online that we're supposed to descale our coffee machine every 100 brews or something. should we figure our how to descale it or…?
— bonky (@shesbonky) November 7, 2024
me: 😐
him:
me: must be nice having a wife. you're welcome
#2
TSA: GET TO THE AIRPORT 4 HOURS BEFORE YOUR FLIGHT
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) March 26, 2026
My Dad: that’s ridiculous why would you cut it so close like that
#3
I love my parents, I am so grateful to be living with them after college, but at the same time if I text you “We should make lasagna this weekend” because I’m trying to be responsible and contribute to the household, I should not receive the scathing response “Ok Garfield.”
— arielle (@ellycelly) December 5, 2025
#4
i hate when a recipe is like “add salt to taste.” that’s why i added all the other stuff too
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) April 14, 2024
#5
Me: they call me “the computer” at work
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) February 6, 2026
Them: because you’re so smart?
Me: because I fall asleep every 15 minutes I’m left unattended
#6
I love my husband for many reasons but high on the list is that we have the same philosophy on how long before a flight one should get to the airport. I cannot imagine the angst of being in that kind of interfaith marriage.
— KSV (@KSVesq) December 10, 2022
#7
Sorry I’m late the grocery store moved the aisles around.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) April 14, 2024
#8
No one will ever know I got this dress at Ross for $7.
— Vickie Roark (@seven4liberty) April 3, 2024
Stranger: I like your dress!
"GIRL, I GOT IT AT ROSS FOR Seven Dollars!!"
#9
It’s important that you all know that I am at Costco and a man next to me just rotated a box of Tide detergent and said, “Look how the tide has turned.”
— Andrea Stewart *UPDATES ONLY* (@AndreaGStewart) September 17, 2023
#10
Last night I hung my coat, which had a chocolate bar in the pocket, on the back of my bedroom door which is opposite my bed and all night I had different versions of the same dream which was me getting up to eat the chocolate bar
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) November 13, 2024
#11
I wore scrubs to Target and a woman asked me if her eye looked infected so I did what any doctor’s office would do. I asked her when her last period was and then I weighed her
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) November 11, 2024
#12
I had a water birth in the hospital when I had my daughter and I had to take a class beforehand where they referred to all other birth as “land birth.”
— emily may (@emilykmay) September 5, 2023
#13
I just tripped over my son’s train set and asked him not to leave it in the middle of the floor. He said I should have been paying attention and then immediately turned around and tripped over the train set.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) November 2, 2024
#14
Cashier: Your total is $2,967.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 4, 2023
Me: Okay. Please take off the greeting card.
Cashier: Your total is now $7.
#15
Nonparents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesnt want to do, and he would obey
— sarah (@sarahradz_) August 3, 2023
#16
Overheard a guy ending a conversation: “well, those are all my funny things I had to say.”
— ash (@heythatsmeash) November 7, 2024
#17
Your elementary school wasn't normal unless you had random square dancing lessons during PE class.
— JBro (@Jaybro006) December 11, 2023
#18
I had to manually change the channel on the TV because the batteries in the remote died, and now the kids think I know magic.
— krista (@kristabellerina) November 3, 2024
#19
Every year on my birthday my daughter asks how old I am and then cries and tells me she doesn’t want me to die so that’s a fun tradition
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 15, 2024
#20
Stop leaving your children with their Grandparents to babysit. I asked my nephew how old his gonna be and he said " if the lord sees fit, 10 in November "😭
— Dekunle27 (@dekunlz) November 7, 2024
#21
Me: It’s time to get dressed for school
— Paul Palmeri (@ThisPaul) March 15, 2023
3 year old: Ok I just have to do something first.
The Something: pic.twitter.com/0BKHdJENXA
#22
