20 Funny and Relatable Posts From Parents

Just walked to the grocery store at 10 PM and saw a disgruntled father walking out with his teen daughter, who was holding a tri-fold poster board and looked harried. Pray for this family.

— Alyssa Leader (@alittleleader) May 21, 2024

I told a teenager today I used to get 10 CDs for a penny in the mail, and I'm not sure if she thinks I'm lying about what a CD was, what a penny is, or what the mail is or all three.

— Eric Alper 🎧 (@ThatEricAlper) November 21, 2023

My 4-year-old told me a boy in her class hit her so I asked how she handled that and she said “I told him ‘you need to get it together, Neil.’” A conflict resolution queen.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) November 19, 2023

My 8yo has somehow acquired a day planner. This isn’t going to end well.

8yo: Mom, can we go to McDonald’s on August 24th?

Me: ummm…I don’t know, maybe?

8yo: *clicks pen*

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 22, 2024

Number of times I’ve cooked Mac and cheese: 1000

Number of times I’ve thrown the box and then picked it up from trash to read the instructions: 1024

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 21, 2023

My pregnant neighbour asked my 8yo what she hopes she’s having, to which she responded “I really hope it’s a baby!”

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 22, 2023

I told my son to do something, and he gave me that ugh attitude. My daughter looked at him, "THIRTY SIX hours!" To remind him how long I was in labor with him lmao

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) May 21, 2024

Someone asked my daughter if she had a hobby and her answer was “just sitting”

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 14, 2024

Six-year-old: “Dad, do you have $100?”

Me: “…Yes.”

Six-year-old: “That means between your $100 and my $4 we can buy a water slide!”

— Austen Allred (@Austen) May 13, 2024

My 8yo had his hair styled nicely this morning so I asked what he put in it to look so good……and he said it was oil from the pan I roasted broccoli in last night.

You really can’t make this stuff up.

— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) June 6, 2023

Yesterday I asked my kindergartener what she did in school and she said "nothing," then later I went on Instagram and her teacher had posted a picture of her holding a crocodile.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) April 14, 2023

When you finally figure out what movie you want to watch and it’s not available on any of your 37 streaming services

— McDad (@mcdadstuff) May 21, 2024

My kid told me that the cake he ate doesn’t count as dessert because it had raisins in it, and I’m inclined to agree

— meghan (@deloisivete) November 20, 2023

3 year-old drinking a carbonated soda: “It’s like a bunch of really tiny people punching me in the tongue!”

— Barlow Adams (@BarlowAdams) November 18, 2023

Me: Where’s the slime bud?

2: Right there.

Me: No, that’s the slime container…where’s the slime?

-A three-sentence horror story

— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) November 17, 2023

I told my parents my 3yo cried the other night because we weren’t having steak for dinner so naturally my dad was making steak at 10:30 this morning when we got to their house

— Parenting Presently (@presentparent_) November 19, 2023

My 2yo is crying saying “I need cheese” and omg same let’s go get some cheese baby

— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) November 20, 2023

Wife: Our 5yo sure is acting like a grown-up lately

Me: Really?

5yo: *walks in* I can't remember what I came in here for

Me: omg

— The Dad (@thedad) November 18, 2023

The 7 year old referred to some minor drama at school as having ‘almost caused world war one one one’, which I think is a beautiful example of saying something you’ve only ever read and never heard

— Eoin Daly (@eoinmauricedaly) May 21, 2024

What do you think is the most innocuous yet alarming thing a mother could find in her house? I think I have it pic.twitter.com/avF8Ei7vsg

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) November 20, 2023