I’ve put together a collection of tweets from moms who are both hilarious and relatable. I think we all need a little laughter and camaraderie to get through the trenches of parenthood.
Hope these add a little laughter to your day or night!
Janene
#1
Dolly Parton wrote “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” on the same day and I’ve been “getting ready to put away laundry” for the past five or six days.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 9, 2022
#2
I don't mean to brag but my son emptied the dishwasher for the first time without being asked. He's 23 but still, without being asked.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) August 14, 2021
#3
*daughter writes note* your the worst mom ever
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 4, 2022
Me: it’s *you’re*
#4
The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) November 9, 2017
#5
I told my kids the shoes on telephone wires are from kids who lied and got sucked up into space
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) August 20, 2020
#6
What I said: Please bring your laundry downstairs.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) July 5, 2022
What my son heard: Please drop your laundry from the second floor down into the foyer as I stand at the front door talking to our neighbor so a dirty balled up sock can bounce off my head and into her face.
#7
Before I had kids, I thought I had a great immune system, but it turns out I was just really good at staying away from the type of people who sneeze directly into your eyeballs while telling you a story.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 10, 2018
#8
And then God said, "yes Julie. You deserve $13 for opening the dryer on this Saturday morning. You do laundry for four people." pic.twitter.com/ykAWPTMcNM
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) August 12, 2017
#9
I’m so glad I’ve paid for a season’s worth of watching other people’s kids play soccer while my daughter sips at her water like it’s shaken not stirred
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 29, 2022
#10
If I complain about being out of shape I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people.
— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) March 6, 2021
#11
if you still think there’s such a thing as perfect parenting just know that I’m a pediatrician and parenting author and my toddler is eating strawberries dipped in ketchup for dinner tonight
— Rebekah Diamond MD (@rebekah_diamond) February 18, 2021
#12
The people at the doctor's office just tried to reassure me that my son isn't the worst kid they've ever seen by telling me a story about the time a kid yanked a banner down from the ceiling. What they didn't realize was it was a story about my kid.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) April 23, 2022
#13
I haven't talked to my sons for a few days so I changed the Hulu, Netflix and Amazon passwords. I heard from all 3 of them within 20 minutes.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) September 2, 2018
#14
I’m of the very strong opinion that Sex Ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy while her husband sits scrolling through his phone and her other two children run wild.
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) March 22, 2019
#15
I like to send little notes in my kid’s lunchbox, like “Sorry the Wheat Thins are stale, that’s what happens when you leave the box open.”
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) October 8, 2018
#16
I spent my time making a home cooked meal and placed it in front of the kids who immediately asked for something different and laughed. Then I laughed. Then we laughed. Then I spoke in a voice not of this world and everyone ate their damn dinner.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) January 4, 2022
#17
You're going to miss this, I whisper to myself as I'm shot in the butt with a nerf gun while unclogging the toilet.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) January 26, 2018
#18
I’m not a licensed interior designer but I just figured out you can make a room look 30% bigger if you put away the 14 loads of laundry on the floor wow
— Honest Teenager (@HonestToddler) July 20, 2018
#19
I’m writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 23, 2022
#20
Today at pick-up, the childcare teacher informed me that my darling son was caught red-handed trying to eat another child's banana. She showed me the confiscated banana as proof. I looked over at him sternly, and caught him trying to eat yet another child's banana.
— sarah (@sarahradz_) July 21, 2023
