Here’s a little round-up of some of the funniest tweets I’ve come across lately.
Hope these bring you some laughs and hope you have a great week!
Janene
#1
I get annoyed when it takes longer than five seconds for a website to load on my phone like I didn't grow up dropping a roll of film off at the store and waiting five days to get pictures back.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 10, 2024
#2
Not convinced that we have done all we can to find the the best way to package flour
— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) May 10, 2020
#3
I have to move my car and parallel park it into a spot opposite some workmen and honestly I would rather drive it directly into the sea
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) November 3, 2023
#4
3 of the hardest things for people to say:
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) September 7, 2024
1. I need help
2. I was wrong
3. Rural
#5
i love when people are able to introduce me to their grandparents using their insane made-up name in a 100% serious tone, “this is peeps and lolly.”
— emily may (@emilykmay) October 30, 2023
#6
they told me to make myself at home so i moved their silverware to the more logical drawer
— Midge (@mxmclain) October 1, 2022
#7
My kids’ favorite place to go shopping for toys is in the pile I just set aside for goodwill.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 25, 2019
#8
I’ve never felt more understood than when my 7yo climbed into my bed, heard his dad snoring like a chainsaw and went right back to his own room
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) November 16, 2023
#9
Didn't realize how few perks we have at the office til I said "we're allowed to listen to the radio on Friday!" to a new hire in a way that can be likened to a girl of 12 saying "I got an orange for Christmas!" as her papa lay dying of gangrene after the Battle of Fredericksburg
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) June 18, 2024
#10
When you invite me to something know I will say yes as I am a people pleaser but I will also cancel later as I am tired
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 3, 2023
#11
wearing glasses doesn’t mean you’re smart, i literally had to fail a test to get these.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) June 22, 2024
#12
a massage is not enough I need to be rolled through a pasta machine
— Bryan Johnson Blood Boy #37 (@bryanbloodboy37) March 15, 2024
#13
My son’s new landlord asked if I wanted a key to the house he will be sharing with three other 19 year old boys and I’ve never wanted anything less in my entire life.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) June 22, 2024
#14
getting so bored at work that i just start completing my assigned tasks
— Karli Marulli (@karlimarulli) June 21, 2024
#15
My daughter told me there is a small get together at school on Friday.
— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) September 10, 2024
I asked her, "How small?"
She replied,
"Just you, me, and the principal.
#16
Can we talk about a unique privacy challenge parents face today? Between FaceTime and interactive games, my kid’s friends are de facto guests in my home at any time. It’s jarring when I yell at my kid for leaving socks on the counter and I’m met with a, “hi, Mrs P” from the iPad.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) October 23, 2023
#17
I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.
— Jason, ex inferis (@benedictsred) September 5, 2024
#18
Hell hath no fury like a toddler who just watched someone else push the elevator button
— The Dad (@thedad) November 8, 2023
#19
5yo: IS THIS AN OLD NUMBER?
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) March 20, 2024
Me: I mean, all numbers are kind of the same age, babe.
5yo: BUT IS IT OLD?
Me: Sort of? I guess?
5yo: MY TEACHER SAID THERE ARE OLD NUMBERS AND EVEN NUMBERS SO WHICH IS IT
#20
Me in 1984 wasting time resting instead of buying Apple stock at $0.09. pic.twitter.com/Y5BfRVWn59
— Douglas A. Boneparth (@dougboneparth) April 17, 2024
