If there is one thing you need in parenthood, it’s a sense of humor. And to not feel alone in your struggles.
So here’s a quick little round-up of 20 relatable tweets from some of the funniest parents on the internet.
Enjoy!
Janene
#1
My 5 year old son just asked “what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey’s whole life” and none of the parenting books I’ve read have prepared me for this question.
— octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) August 26, 2018
#2
I had a tea party with my 6yo, and told her the pastries were delicious. She said her husband made them. She talked about her 3 kids and how hard it is to be a doctor. I asked how she's able to host tea parties with all that going on. She said she has a supportive husband.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) April 21, 2024
#3
8yo: daddy what’s your best talent?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) November 19, 2022
me: hmm I don’t know, maybe being a dad?
8yo: no that’s not it
#4
My son was mad at me today so he told me as much punishment I had to go to my room and sleep for 24 hours. If I got hungry, he’d bring me whatever food I wanted, but I was not allowed to leave my bed for one whole day.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) April 3, 2024
If you need me, I’ll be on vaca-, I mean, in my room.
#6
Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 23, 2022
#7
toddler *shows me his new toy*
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) February 23, 2019
me: Who gave you that?
toddler: My friend
me: When?
toddler: When he wasn’t looking
#8
My 5-year-old sat me down to tell me my fortune. She said, "one day, maybe you'll be the best mom in the universe." Not today, tho.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) November 23, 2022
#9
My 4yo pretended she was a hired cleaner yesterday as. As she helped me clean she asked if I had any kids. After telling her about my 2 I asked if she had any of her own. Turns out she has 5 kids and has been married to a man named Carlin for 30 years. You think you know someone.
— Mummy Dear (@ThatMummyLife) November 14, 2022
#10
My 12-year-old went to a movie with a boy.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 25, 2023
I gave her money for her ticket.
The boy paid.
I did not get my money back.
I learned an important lesson about dating today.
#11
My 3.5-year old, eating his porridge, glances out the window at my car and comments absently, "I see you still have your winter tires on."
— Deonandan (@deonandan) March 20, 2024
I swear, I'm raising my own father.
#12
After watching my toddler like a hawk nonstop I glance at my phone for 0.00012 seconds, and when I look up she is somehow smoking a cigarette and wielding a crossbow
— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) October 3, 2022
#13
#14
My dad told my daughter she was the best duster ever then leaned in to me and whispered “if you tell kids they’re amazing at the chore they don’t bitch about doing it” and suddenly I’m questioning if I really was the most amazing weed-puller he ever saw
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 18, 2024
#15
“Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?”
— kidversations (@kidversations_) September 20, 2022
– my child, about to be shook
#16
(my 5-year-old daughter does a cartwheel)
— Marla Cáceres (@MarlaCaceres) August 2, 2022
Me: That was great! Do you want to try gymnastics classes? Or dance? You get to wear fun costumes and do shows.
Her: No. I want to be a normal person and do nothing.
#17
"That's it! No doing the dishes after you tuck us in! You do NOT wash the dishes tonight!" My angry 3 year old who, apparently, believes that washing dishes is a beloved hobby that I look forward to each and every night
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 29, 2021
#18
I sent my daughter a text and she responded with “I will look into this. Thank you.” So I guess we’re business associates now.
— Wendy (@_wendyb07) November 24, 2022
#19
Doctor: Your blood pressure is a little high.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 15, 2024
Me: I have 4 kids. A 24-year-old living at home, two in college, and I'm about to teach our youngest how to drive.
Doctor:
Me:
Doctor: Your blood pressure is a little low.
#20
Just overheard my eight-year-old son tell the little boy who lives across the street, “You have to go now. I’ve hit my limit for being around other people today.”
— Rebecca Papin (@RebeccaPapin) July 16, 2023
