Here’s a little round-up of some of the funniest tweets I’ve come across lately.
Hope these bring you some laughs and hope you have a great week!
Janene
#1
Nothing humbles you faster than choking on a powdered sugar donut in public. One second you’re enjoying a morning treat, the next you’re fighting for your life in a cloud of powder
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) March 11, 2025
#2
I've never been truly disappointed in my children until right now, when my 7-year-old ate half of a doughnut hole. Half. Of a single-bite food item. Kids today have no follow through.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 21, 2023
#3
As a reward for good grades my 9yo got to pick tonight’s restaurant so we are headed out for some fine dining at The 24 Hour Donut King.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 1, 2024
#4
4-year-old eating a pink frosted donut covered in sprinkles: “This is the best bagel I have EVER had!”
— KSV (@KSVesq) May 9, 2023
#5
6yo: I love you
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 9, 2022
Me: I love you too!
6yo: I wasn’t talking to you I was talking to my donut
#6
Isn't it universally known that if you eat a donut in small bites over the course of an hour it has way less calories than if you eat it all at once?
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 5, 2024
#7
Asked my kid what kind of donut he wanted and his answer was "six."
— dadpression (@Dadpression) February 23, 2018
#8
My body is in that stage where you can tell I kinda work out but you can also tell I don’t turn down a chocolate donut
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) January 23, 2025
#9
office culture is someone bringing in donuts and everyone for some reason refusing to take a whole one and cutting off 3/8 of the donut and then at the end of the day there's like 17/25ths of 9 different donuts left
— ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა (@CBD42O) January 17, 2019
#10
My toddler pretended to leave for work this morning with no pants and a lunchbox full of mini donuts so my question is where do I apply for this job
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) June 23, 2022
#11
My 3yo just realized that when he’s an adult he can drive himself to get donuts and he’s gonna need a minute
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 8, 2021
#12
My son just prescribed me a donut to cure my headache. It doesn't seem medically sound but he's the one wearing the stethoscope so who am I to argue?
— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) August 5, 2019
#13
The average American eats 25 donuts per year. I am clearly picking up the slack for someone out there.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) January 13, 2021
#14
My 6yo left a donut on her dresser when she went to bed, 'just in case she needs it.' And I’ve never felt closer to her.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) December 16, 2020
#15
Me: How’s your foot, buddy?
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) March 28, 2021
4: It still hurts.
Me: What would help?
4: Maybe donuts? We need to try or we won’t know.
This kid gets it.
#16
If you spell it "doughnut", instead of "donut", I assume you have a PhD.
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) May 13, 2019
#17
If you’re feeling pathetic…just know I had to unfollow a local donut shop on IG bc they wont stop inventing freaky new flavors and I have zero self control
— floorboard (@StruggleDisplay) May 14, 2024
#18
My donut-obsessed 6yo has very casually suggested that maybe we can go to Dunkin tomorrow, you know, for Mother's Day
— meghan (@deloisivete) May 11, 2024
#19
i asked my two year old how her krispy kreme 🍩 is and she replied ‘it’s beautiful’ pic.twitter.com/PtFmxDKWq7
— Casey Neistat (@Casey) January 19, 2021
#20
So… I take the Amtrak in and out of NY every week. Inbound, I always come out on the old Penn Station side, and SOMETIMES I'll stop and grab 2 plain glazed a Krispy Kreme.
— Naima Cochrane (@naima) April 29, 2024
So today the lady asks me if I wanna be a Krispy Kreme rewards member, and I had to spend like 4.5 mins…
