If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
Idk what people are telling you but I personally think it's really cool and smart of you to hold onto the box your cellphone came in for two years in case of a scenario that you came up with in your head that has never occurred in real life
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) June 18, 2023
#2
A kid at the park asked his brothers if they wanted to listen to music. They asked, do you have a phone? And he said, no I have something from back in the day and I was preparing myself to be offended by whatever he was going to show them and then he started playing a harmonica.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) July 2, 2024
#3
my dad rates the complexity of a shopping list by how many phone calls home he thinks it will take. parents are hosting a dinner party tonight and he looks at the list my mom gave him and says “woah this is a 5-caller for sure”
— Sara Daunt (@sara_daunt) June 2, 2018
#4
Life is just choosing your subway sandwich when you're 9 and ordering the same one until you die
— lisa pizza (@sixteenburritos) February 25, 2021
#5
Me: I have a cut under my fingernail.
— mariana Z (@mariana057) December 4, 2022
Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.
#6
"The other day" -me talking about something that happened 27 years ago
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) September 19, 2023
#7
people are always like oh climbing mount everest is the hardest thing you could do. and it’s like ok but have you ever had to schedule an appointment
— chase (@_chase_____) December 12, 2023
#8
“your package is out for delivery” ok where bc i’ll meet them halfway
— soph🦋 (@sophiadarnell1) September 1, 2021
#9
I need a way to lose five pounds fast that doesn't include eating less or moving more.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) December 11, 2023
#10
Do dogs understand elevators or are they just like ok it's time to get into the world changer
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) February 21, 2021
#11
everyone else’s birthday is on the most random possible day whereas mine is on the day where it’s like ok Yeah this is a birthday
— charlie (@chunkbardey) March 4, 2022
#12
Waiting for my husband to leave on his run so I can crack open a pint of ice cream. Marriage is all about balance.
— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) February 26, 2024
#13
Nothing disappoints quite like finding a tiny car or motorcycle in the parking spot you thought was empty
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 17, 2023
#14
my father still likes to tell the story about the argument he won with my mother in 1971
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) March 8, 2024
#15
my daughter said “it’s cold, but it’s a beautiful day.” ppl w no bills are so positive.
— B 🦋 (@DontWorryBoutB) February 4, 2021
#16
Pickpocketed in London by a quite old man. Saw him whip my purse out of the side pocket of my bag. Was a nice purse I bought in Paris but swings and roundabouts – I use it to store my emergency travel tampons.
— Rima (@therimaahmed) June 30, 2024
Have fun, tea leaf granda! Hope you only have a light to medium flow x
#17
I respect the moon's unwillingness to be photographed on a phone
— Synexdoche (@amor_fatti) October 20, 2024
#18
saw a tiktok of a woman being like “here’s a trick i learned in italy” and she just squeezed lemon juice into her coke
— latke (@latkedelrey) October 10, 2023
#19
social battery running out at the function, call that loosing my yappetite
— chatpile roan (@lornashawty) June 29, 2024
#20
I grabbed what I thought was a container of leftover chicken and potatoes from the fridge this morning on my way to the office, but it turns out it was actually cookie dough.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) September 20, 2023
I regret nothing. pic.twitter.com/vfT5ObeOa5
