The women of Twitter never fail to make me laugh with funny and relatable quips.
Here’s a quick little round-up of some of my favorite tweets from women this week.
Hope these bring some smiles to your day!
Janene
#1
I made cookie dough 2 days ago and pre molded it into balls and froze them so I would be able to bake ONE cookie at a time AS NEEDED but so far I’ve just eaten 6 balls of cookie dough over a 2 day span
— Ashtyn Butuso (@lil_buts) August 28, 2024
#2
I’ve done 3 loads of laundry and folded and put them away as soon as they came out of the dryer. Please clap.
— Jenna (@mom_of_littles) August 26, 2024
#3
I am sitting next to a French-speaking family at Whole Foods, and their son (maybe 8 or 9?) asked what I was doing on my laptop. I said: "I'm working on my lunch break." And he said, in an adorable French accent: "Ah! I did not know that people could work on their lunch breaks!"
— Laura J. Nelson 🦅 (@laura_nelson) August 27, 2024
#4
People always talking bout they were born in the wrong generation. Not me. I know for a fact I couldn’t have lived without air conditioning 😂
— Salliece McCain (@turnkeyce) August 25, 2024
#5
i hate the toilet paper math where the package says like "6 ROLLS = 33 ROLLS!" No it doesn't.
— rowan (@beefy_burrito) August 30, 2024
#6
there is a guy i see every single time i’m at the gym. morning, night, midday, twice a days, i’m like this is outrageous. today, i’m here & there are two of them. they’re twins lmao it’s all adding up
— Heifer Hotline (@janetheeesq) August 27, 2024
#7
The middle aged urge to throw out all of the mismatched Tupperware containers and just start your life over 😅
— Dr. Lisa Munro (@llmunro) August 25, 2024
#8
Has your extrovert friend forced you to interact with total strangers?? If so, you may be entitled to compensation
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 26, 2024
#9
Happy eldest daughter day to my big sister, who I assume bought herself a nice gift and card and put my name on it 🫶
— sarah (@sarahradz_) August 26, 2024
#10
How is it possible for a chin hair to go from too short to pluck yet to 2 inches overnight?
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) August 27, 2024
#11
Me: “I’m finally giving up caffeine, sugar, & dairy; I’ll feel so much better!”
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 30, 2024
Also me, 2 hours later: “I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS.”
#12
I’m staying in my pajamas today because dress for the job you want and I want to be a Princess who sleeps for a hundred years.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) August 26, 2024
#13
MY health insurance company doesn’t know that I am from a long, long line of deeply petty people, that I am playing the long game, that yes I actually will spend a thousand hours of my one precious life getting you to cover this $100 claim because MY BLOOD IS MADE OF SPITE
— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) August 29, 2024
#14
Them: just trust your gut
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) August 29, 2024
Me: the one full of chocolate and coffee?
#15
I’ll never forgive my dad for sending me to AutoZone for blinker fluid
— gas statіon dream gіrl (@cheygoulet) August 30, 2024
#16
Today I went to the bank and asked if they had an atm. The guy said they had a drive thru. I said oh I walked here. He said that’s fine. I had to wait in line behind a car like this 🧍🏻♀️
— naomi (@lachancenaomi27) August 26, 2024
#17
Putting the whole message in the subject line like I’m making a collect call in 1994
— Hush, Marsha (@MarshaFatFace) August 26, 2024
#18
I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my Chipotle order warm in case you wondered how seriously I take Taco Tuesday.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 27, 2024
#19
Me: "Welcome to Qualitative Methods!"
— Regina Bateson (@regina_bateson) August 28, 2024
Students: "Ummmm, we're here for Neuropharmacology."
Me: "Whoa, I am totally unqualified to teach you that!"
Yep, I walked into the wrong room full of students & confidently started teaching the 1st day of someone else's class! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
#20
Shaking the air fryer basket halfway through cooking pic.twitter.com/93ooHBMvZJ
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 28, 2024
