20 of the Best Quips From Women This Week

Another week and and another round of funny and relatable quips from women.

Hope these bring some smiles to your day!

Janene

#1

i would do anything to cure my digestive issues except stop drinking coffee or change my dietary habits in any way
— bald ann dowd (@ali_sivi) February 26, 2025

#2

absolutely hate when an expensive beauty product is worth the hype and i have to keep buying it.
— emily may (@emilykmay) March 2, 2025

#3

maybe it was better when there was just a computer room. now the computer room follows me everywhere
— trash jones (@jzux) February 25, 2025

#4

They say we should never meet our heroes, but my 90 year old grandmother ends all her phone calls with “Okay, I’m done talking to you now, bye” then hangs up, and honestly that’s pretty heroic
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) March 1, 2025

#5

The "It's only $5, why not buy it" mentality has probably cost me like $15,000 at this point in my life.
— 尺乇ᐯ (@revivemeqt) March 1, 2025

#6

Me: why did I walk into this room

My brain: not sure but if you go back toward the kitchen there are leftover cupcakes
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) February 26, 2025

#7

Anytime I say “Talk to you later” it can either mean later today or later in life. It’ll be a surprise for both of us
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) February 26, 2025

#8

What’s it like to not drop a sock on the stairs when you’re taking washing to the machine cus honestly I wouldn’t know
— Our Rach (@our_rach) February 25, 2025

#9

That era when you dropped ya phone and the battery flew out was just crazy
— H. (@Haster18_) March 1, 2025

#10

i read about a woman who holds "office hours" for her friends – she sits in a coffee shop for like 4 hours every week and lets people know that anyone is welcome to come and chit chat and this is actually a great idea. thursdays at union coffee from 4-6, be there or be square.
— emily may (@emilykmay) February 25, 2025

#11

I’m not procrastinating. I’m taking side quests.
— 𝕂 (@bigcatNRG) February 25, 2025

#12

I like to reward myself with two hours of screen time after every simple task I complete
— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) February 23, 2025

#13

If I die before you, PLEASE delete my calculator history.
— BOOP (@Pettyyyboop) January 30, 2025

#14

The crying stops when you leave the work bathroom. It’s called professionalism.
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 24, 2025

#15

I have a ton of work to do today so I guess the real question is whether I write a book or tear out my kitchen cabinets first.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) February 24, 2025

#16

To check that you’ve locked the front door:

Lock the door.
Try the handle 3 to 4 extra times.
(The 4th test is important as the other 3 times might have been incorrect.)
Leave house feeling doubtful.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) February 28, 2025

#17

Miss 8 has a loose tooth. Normally they get excited about the tooth fairy right? Not this one. She gets mad. It's my tooth, she doesn't get to steal it! She should use her own! Why is she scamming kids? She goes on a tirade every time and I always cackle about it privately. She has a tooth stash 😂
— Eryn McConnell (@erynmcconnell.bsky.social) March 2, 2025 at 10:20 AM

#18

taught my kid how to whistle two weeks ago and have come to regret it every moment since
— Adriana Porter Felt (@apf.bsky.social) March 2, 2025 at 7:06 AM

#19

So my co worker just said: "You shouldn’t eat red meat!" I said: "My grandfather lived to be 100yrs old." He said: "Did he eat red meat?" I said: "No, he minded his own business."
— Mariana Z (@mariana057.bsky.social) March 1, 2025 at 12:27 PM

#20

stopped mid shopping to gaze at these apples i’m no better than a horse pic.twitter.com/P1VqWOrLxy
— ☆ eros ☆ (@claycupid) February 27, 2025

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