Another week and and another round of funny and relatable quips from women.
Hope these bring some smiles to your day!
Janene
#1
It's too late, I put on comfy clothes after work, go on without me
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 6, 2024
#2
I was buying a Christmas tree and I asked the helper if he thought the needles looked healthy enough to last until Christmas and he said “I really don’t know because I’m only 17.”
— erin chack (@ErinChack) December 2, 2024
#3
they need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. i have to know what goes on in there
— trash jones (@jzux) December 3, 2024
#4
You never need to apologize for canceling plans with me. I didn’t want to go anywhere in the first place.
— Kristen (@Kica333) December 2, 2024
#5
i miss calling ur friends on landlines. there was something special about having to talk to someone u feared (ur friends mom) before talking to someone u want to jump on the trampoline with (ur friend)
— chase (@_chase_____) December 3, 2024
#6
I can’t believe the 12 days of Christmas is all birds and musicians and not a single thing with potatoes anywhere.
— Ousa Medusa (@MedusaOusa) December 5, 2024
#7
I’ve officially reached the age where unless I absolutely need something I’m not leaving my house.
— Kristen (@Kica333) December 2, 2024
#8
Sorry I’m late. I was wrapping presents on the floor and it took me 30 minutes to get back up.
— Kristen (@Kica333) December 4, 2024
#9
I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 3, 2024
#10
These are dark times.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) December 5, 2024
~me, everyday at 4pm
#11
My self care routine is mostly just going to mexican restaurants
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 6, 2024
#12
I just saw a TikTok from a young woman who quit her job to practice if being a SAHM is right for her. She’s not married, nor does she have kids. I have one thousand follow-up questions.
— Molly (@mollyfleck.bsky.social) (@mollyfleck) December 4, 2024
#13
Doctor: “Ok, now just breathe normally”
— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler) December 7, 2024
Me: *immediately forgets how to breathe*
#14
watching the packer game with my mom who does not understand football and she informed me she’d like to continue not understanding football
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) December 6, 2024
#15
One thing about me is I’m probably gonna say hi to your dog before I say hi to you
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) December 4, 2024
#16
my husband has just informed me that he is going to “get disgusting with it” this year in regards to eggnog consumption
— Soggy Broccoli 🕯️ (@soggybrocoli) December 5, 2024
#17
Why do people just go caroling at Christmas time, I’d love someone to knock on my door and sing me a Weezer album from beginning to end and then leave
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) December 4, 2024
#18
“Sorry about the mess!”
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) December 3, 2024
—me, knowing good and well my house hasn’t been this clean in over a month
#19
Me: Do that thing I like.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) December 7, 2024
Him: *takes out the bathroom garbage*
#20
If you want to block me because I post too many bird puns…
— 𝕁. (@jtothet) December 4, 2024
Well, toucan play at that game.
