I’ve rounded up some of the funniest tweets about life with six year olds, hope you enjoy these as much as I did!
Janene
#1
My 6yo told his teacher we had no food in the house so she sent a flyer home with him for the local food bank. Go-Gurt, we had no Gogurt.
— My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) January 9, 2024
#2
I asked my 6yo “aren’t you gonna help me plant flowers” and she said “oh mommy I would love to do that except that I don’t want to”
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 5, 2021
#3
Nobody:
— 𝙳𝚊 𝙸𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 🧡 (@TrudiiBee) February 9, 2024
My 6yr old talking to himself on the toilet: everyday I gotta get up for school. & then everyday I’m gonna have to get up for work. When does it end. Did I ask for this? No. I don’t remember that I asked for this. I asked for rest and legos and French toast.
#4
My 6YO didn’t do his reading, yet wrote down 30 minutes on his reading log, which he signed his dad’s name to. I explained forgery to him and he explained that didn’t apply because he and his dad share a name. Where is he learning this stuff, cuz it’s apparently not from books.
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) October 3, 2022
#5
6yo told me he learned about a painter called Vingo Vango in school, and it took me a beat longer than I care to admit to figure that out
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 3, 2022
#6
"Oh, I do like Chinese food!"
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 27, 2022
-My 6yo, eating chicken fingers & fries from The Imperial Bamboo kid's menu
#7
My 6yo just saw how many emails I have to do something about. He suggested just replying to all of them with 'go away, never contact me again'. He's available for all of your business/PA needs.
— Alice JB (@DrAliceJones) April 14, 2020
#8
My 6yo is chanting all the words that rhyme with sucker and this is going to end badly in about 3 seconds
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 29, 2024
#9
6-year-old: I’m not cleaning my room.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) July 20, 2018
Me: I don’t like your tone.
6: What does “tone” mean?
Me: I don’t like your voice.
6: *weird Kermit the Frog voice* I’m not cleaning my room.
#10
my 6yo discovered my husband and i dated other people before we married eachother and lets just say her world is now shook
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 12, 2023
"YOU'VE KISSED OTHER PEOPLE?!"
#11
So I gave 6YO a grilled cheese sandwich. She gasped, “Mom! You made me this sandwich one time, and I’ve been wanting you to make it again for like 50 years, but I didn’t know what it was called!”
— Jennifer Greenberg 🕊️ (@JennMGreenberg) January 30, 2023
#12
My 6yo got home from school and crawled into bed with a tube of pringles, so I guess it was a rough day in kindergarten
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 21, 2024
#13
6-year-old: Did you know an octopus has 9 brains?
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) December 31, 2023
Me: I did not know that.
6-year-old: That’s because you only have 1 brain.
#14
[kids scream at each other]
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 17, 2022
Me: Can you guys stop fighting for, like, five minutes?
6-year-old: But at six minutes we can fight as much as we want?
#15
My 6 year old just got back from visiting our elderly neighbor and said, “I told her we’d bring her some fresh baked cookies when they’re ready.” I informed her that we weren’t baking any cookies today and she said, “Oh, I guess we kinda have to now, don’t we?” Diabolical.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 21, 2024
#16
Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning.
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) September 21, 2022
#17
Me: What did you do at school?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 11, 2018
6-year-old: I mathed.
Me: It's not a verb. You can't "math."
6: I did. I mathed so hard.
#18
I was going through an old keepsakes box of mine and found a 4 colored pen. I asked my 6 year old if she’d like to have the cool pen I used when I was a kid. Her eyes lit up, then I gave it to her and she frowned. “Oh, I thought it was going to be one of those feathers,” she said
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 27, 2024
#19
6yo (to her crying brother): "It's okay to be sad, sometimes we need to let our feelings out, just let yourself be sad."
— Ellie Hawkes (@elspells13) August 23, 2021
Me: "Oh darling, that's so lovely, well done. Why is he crying?"
6yo: "I hit him."#mumlife
#20
My 6-year-old is very set on writing and drawing his own comic books, but he says his problem right now is that he “can’t really read and write yet” AND he doesn’t “own a good stapler.”
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) January 9, 2024
#21
My 6-year-old is sick with a cough, so I told him gargling with warm salt water can help. He looked at me & said, "I'm NOT going all the way to the ocean right now."
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 15, 2022
#22
[Diner]
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) October 12, 2022
Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free
*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*
my 6 year-old: im a police