I’ve rounded up some of the funniest tweets about life with six year olds, hope you enjoy these as much as I did!
Janene
#1
My 6YO didn’t do his reading, yet wrote down 30 minutes on his reading log, which he signed his dad’s name to. I explained forgery to him and he explained that didn’t apply because he and his dad share a name. Where is he learning this stuff, cuz it’s apparently not from books.
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) October 3, 2022
#2
I asked my 6yo “aren’t you gonna help me plant flowers” and she said “oh mommy I would love to do that except that I don’t want to”
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 5, 2021
#3
My 6-year-old is sick with a cough, so I told him gargling with warm salt water can help. He looked at me & said, "I'm NOT going all the way to the ocean right now."
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 15, 2022
#4
My 6yo told his teacher we had no food in the house so she sent a flyer home with him for the local food bank. Go-Gurt, we had no Gogurt.
— My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) January 9, 2024
#5
6yo told me he learned about a painter called Vingo Vango in school, and it took me a beat longer than I care to admit to figure that out
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 3, 2022
#6
"Oh, I do like Chinese food!"
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 27, 2022
-My 6yo, eating chicken fingers & fries from The Imperial Bamboo kid's menu
#7
My 6yo just saw how many emails I have to do something about. He suggested just replying to all of them with 'go away, never contact me again'. He's available for all of your business/PA needs.
— Alice JB (@DrAliceJones) April 14, 2020
#8
My 6yo is chanting all the words that rhyme with sucker and this is going to end badly in about 3 seconds
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 29, 2024
#9
6-year-old: I’m not cleaning my room.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) July 20, 2018
Me: I don’t like your tone.
6: What does “tone” mean?
Me: I don’t like your voice.
6: *weird Kermit the Frog voice* I’m not cleaning my room.
#10
my 6yo discovered my husband and i dated other people before we married eachother and lets just say her world is now shook
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 12, 2023
"YOU'VE KISSED OTHER PEOPLE?!"
#11
So I gave 6YO a grilled cheese sandwich. She gasped, “Mom! You made me this sandwich one time, and I’ve been wanting you to make it again for like 50 years, but I didn’t know what it was called!”
— Jennifer Greenberg 🕊️ (@JennMGreenberg) January 30, 2023
#12
My 6yo got home from school and crawled into bed with a tube of pringles, so I guess it was a rough day in kindergarten
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 21, 2024
#13
6-year-old: Did you know an octopus has 9 brains?
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) December 31, 2023
Me: I did not know that.
6-year-old: That’s because you only have 1 brain.
#14
[kids scream at each other]
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 17, 2022
Me: Can you guys stop fighting for, like, five minutes?
6-year-old: But at six minutes we can fight as much as we want?
#15
my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said “i am your mom” and she said “but like, a cool young fun mom”
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 9, 2022
im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that
#16
Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning.
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) September 21, 2022
#17
Me: What did you do at school?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 11, 2018
6-year-old: I mathed.
Me: It's not a verb. You can't "math."
6: I did. I mathed so hard.
#18
I was going through an old keepsakes box of mine and found a 4 colored pen. I asked my 6 year old if she’d like to have the cool pen I used when I was a kid. Her eyes lit up, then I gave it to her and she frowned. “Oh, I thought it was going to be one of those feathers,” she said
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 27, 2024
#19
6yo (to her crying brother): "It's okay to be sad, sometimes we need to let our feelings out, just let yourself be sad."
— Ellie Hawkes (@elspells13) August 23, 2021
Me: "Oh darling, that's so lovely, well done. Why is he crying?"
6yo: "I hit him."#mumlife
#20
[Diner]
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) October 12, 2022
Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free
*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*
my 6 year-old: im a police
