Vacation Vibes: 21 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Traveling

Me getting dressed: *puts on the same black yoga pants for the 8th day in a row*

Me packing for vacation: I don’t have room for this third ball gown I may need to check another bag

— Ali Kolbert (@AliKolbert) April 11, 2019

How many pairs of undies do you pack for a five day trip please say seven.

— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 14, 2023

One thing about me on holiday, I am going to be awake for that hotel breakfast 😂

— H ✨ (@HassUthman_) May 14, 2022

When I was a kid, and we'd all be in the car ready to leave on vacation, my Mom would always run back into the house for what seemed like forever. We would all wonder what she was doing in there. Now I know what she was doing. Everything. She was doing everything.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) October 5, 2018

Dads love announcing to everyone the name of the river they are crossing on a road trip.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 10, 2021

There are two types of people: Those who get to the airport four hours early and still worry about missing their flight, and those who think the final boarding call is a good time to go grab Starbucks, and they marry each other.

— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) June 13, 2023

Every time I leave the house with my four kids for a trip, I understand more and more how the McCallisters were able to forget Kevin at home.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2021

In hindsight, admission plus a two-hour round trip drive was a steep price to pay to learn that our kid’s favorite amusement park attraction was a restroom hand-dryer.

— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) May 19, 2019

can’t stop thinking about the time I watched a woman try to put her dog through the airport security scanner and the tsa agent picked it up and was like “ma’am no”

— sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) (@cottoncandaddy) July 1, 2019

You get the same side of the bed at a hotel as you get at home. Those are the rules!

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) February 2, 2022

I hate when you pack for a trip early and have to wear second tier underwear for the rest of the week.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 25, 2020

Wife: We have to make the bed.

Me: We're in a hotel. They literally pay someone to make it for us.

Wife: But they'll judge us for being messy.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 3, 2018

Before getting married, you should be required to go on a road trip. If your relationship can survive 10 or more hours of your partner panic gasping every time you speed up and change lanes, you’re meant to be.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 9, 2020

Things I have not enjoyed on my family camping trip so far:
– family
– camping

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 24, 2021

i dont simply go through airport security. i have a goal. i want everyone in line to be blown away by my efficiency. i want to be celebrated as i push my belongings across the table. i want TSA to offer me a job (i’ll decline). i want people talking about me at their gate. glory.

— shelby wolstein (@ShelbyWolstein) April 26, 2022

My husband just told me he wants a divorce.

Actually his exact words were “I think it would be cool for the whole family to live in an RV and travel the country for a year,” but tomato, to-mah-to

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) June 24, 2020

Accidentally activated “vacation dad” by telling my husband there is construction on our way to the airport…we are now leaving at 3 am for a 5 pm flight. We live 20 mins away.

— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) August 3, 2022

i love airports because rules of society just don’t apply. eat pizza or ice cream while wearing sweatpants at 8 pm or 8 am, no one cares.

— Brittany Dawn (@itsbrittanydawn) May 1, 2018

Sitting on airplane…. I sanitize our tray tables, seat cushions, seatbelts, and seatback pockets. My child then licks the window.

— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) October 16, 2021

Two weeks ago at the start of this road trip: “Here are coloring books! Puzzles! Art projects! Mad libs! Where’s Waldo books! Crayons! Paper! No need for screens! Fruit & veggie snacks only!”

Me, now: “Unlimited screen time. Want more M&Ms? Have at it.”

— NurseKelsey (she/her) 🌈✨🎉❤️🏳️‍🌈 (@nursekelsey) July 25, 2023

It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) June 9, 2016