25 Hilariously Relatable Tweets About Traveling

Me getting dressed: *puts on the same black yoga pants for the 8th day in a row*

Me packing for vacation: I don’t have room for this third ball gown I may need to check another bag

— Ali Kolbert (@AliKolbert) April 11, 2019

Hotels are like “Here’s 17 pillows on the bed. None of them are comfortable.”

— McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 11, 2022

I never eat breakfast at home, but when on vacation I go out for breakfast every day and am like “YES I’D LIKE THE STARVING LUMBERJACK GUTBUSTER PLATTER AND A SIDE PILE OF BACON.”

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 26, 2024

Hotels be like, it’s $150 a night and you’re staying 2 nights so that brings your total to $947.43.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 26, 2023

How many pairs of undies do you pack for a five day trip please say seven.

— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 14, 2023

When you land on time, but the plane does that little 37 minute sightseeing trip around the airport

— McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 20, 2024

Security at every level of the airport is insane until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s like take whatever bag you want.

— Shower Thoughts (@ShwrThght) March 12, 2018

Dads love announcing to everyone the name of the river they are crossing on a road trip.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 10, 2021

There are two types of people: Those who get to the airport four hours early and still worry about missing their flight, and those who think the final boarding call is a good time to go grab Starbucks, and they marry each other.

— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) June 13, 2023

Every time I leave the house with my four kids for a trip, I understand more and more how the McCallisters were able to forget Kevin at home.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2021

In hindsight, admission plus a two-hour round trip drive was a steep price to pay to learn that our kid’s favorite amusement park attraction was a restroom hand-dryer.

— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) May 19, 2019

can’t stop thinking about the time I watched a woman try to put her dog through the airport security scanner and the tsa agent picked it up and was like “ma’am no”

— sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 (@cottoncandaddy) July 1, 2019

You get the same side of the bed at a hotel as you get at home. Those are the rules!

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) February 2, 2022

I hate when you pack for a trip early and have to wear second tier underwear for the rest of the week.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 25, 2020

Wife: We have to make the bed.

Me: We're in a hotel. They literally pay someone to make it for us.

Wife: But they'll judge us for being messy.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 3, 2018

Before getting married, you should be required to go on a road trip. If your relationship can survive 10 or more hours of your partner panic gasping every time you speed up and change lanes, you’re meant to be.

— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) March 9, 2020

Sorry, but responding to “sir, you are yelling” with “SO IS THE BABY” while screaming about a baby crying on an airplane is the funniest thing anyone has ever said.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 19, 2023

i dont simply go through airport security. i have a goal. i want everyone in line to be blown away by my efficiency. i want to be celebrated as i push my belongings across the table. i want TSA to offer me a job (i’ll decline). i want people talking about me at their gate. glory.

— shelby wolstein (@ShelbyWolstein) April 26, 2022

My husband just told me he wants a divorce.

Actually his exact words were “I think it would be cool for the whole family to live in an RV and travel the country for a year,” but tomato, to-mah-to

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) June 24, 2020

Accidentally activated “vacation dad” by telling my husband there is construction on our way to the airport…we are now leaving at 3 am for a 5 pm flight. We live 20 mins away.

— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) August 3, 2022

i love airports because rules of society just don’t apply. eat pizza or ice cream while wearing sweatpants at 8 pm or 8 am, no one cares.

— Brittany Dawn (@itsbrittanydawn) May 1, 2018

Sitting on airplane…. I sanitize our tray tables, seat cushions, seatbelts, and seatback pockets. My child then licks the window.

— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) October 16, 2021

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them

— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 10, 2020

Airbnb falling apart warms my soul. Why the hell y’all got me doing chores when I’m on vacation

— Anthony Moore (@AllThatandMoore) June 28, 2023

It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) June 9, 2016