Another week and and another round of funny and relatable quips from parents!
Here are some of the ones that made me laugh this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
Actual email I sent Bella’s pre-school teacher at 7:30 this morning:
— Jason Kander (@JasonKander) December 12, 2024
Diana is on a work trip. Bella is wearing a dress that is too big. She insisted and because I’m on day 4 of solo parenting, she has broken my will to resist her.
#2
11: dad I have a confession
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 15, 2024
me: oh boy. What.
11: last night before you said it was bedtime I made a plate of nachos and put them under my bed. Then I ate them after bed time
me: 😂 how did you get your brother not to tattle?
9: I paid him off in nachos
#3
Almost time to give up on that package arriving in time and just print a picture of the gift and wrap it.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 18, 2024
#4
My kid came home from school yesterday and told me his class is supposed to dress up as Elvis for morning assembly. I told him I think he means elves. He disagreed. I can’t wait to hear how his day went when ‘The King’ returns home.
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) December 19, 2024
#5
My son won an award and my daughter was jealous so I told her she’s in the running for ‘best daughter award’. She got dressed early and is scrubbing toilets. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 19, 2024
#6
Please pray for my son who had to do the dishes when he "just did this yesterday" and he's "tired."
— Dzintra – Author (@DzintraSullivan) December 19, 2024
#7
Three 9yo girls just showed up at my front door to tell me my 9yo son needs to apologize to his younger brother for throwing sand in his hair, and is this the village they're always talking about
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 20, 2024
#8
I wish I was as full of hope as my kid who keeps adding last minute things to his Christmas list.
— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) December 21, 2024
#9
My almost 2yo just handed me her pretzels so she could get up and then saw the pretzels in my hand and started crying and yelling “NO MY PRETZELS” if you’re wondering what having a 2yo is like
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 20, 2024
#10
Eating 27 small pieces of fudge spread throughout the entire day are less calories than eating 27 pieces of fudge in one sitting. I'll take no arguments on this.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 16, 2024
#11
This Christmas I celebrate the 39 year anniversary of not getting the G I Joe aircraft carrier.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 20, 2024
#12
WE HAVE A NEW DRIVER IN THE HOUSE which makes three kids on my policy someone please start a GoFundMe so I can pay my insurance premium thank you in advance.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 20, 2024
#13
Boss: What are you working on?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 16, 2024
Me: Ugh. Just trying to finish up before this deadline.
Boss: I'll leave you to it, then.
Me: [goes back to Christmas shopping]
#14
6am
— Emily Zanotti 🦝 (@emzanotti) December 15, 2024
“You look sad, buddy. What’s wrong? Do you need a hug?”
“I can’t decide what stuff I like best on a hot dog.”
“That’s a tough one, dude. I get it.”
#15
One time my preschooler said his feet hurt and I thought it was bc they grew but it turned out his boots were full of Mardi gras beads
— sarah (@sarahradz_) December 18, 2024
#16
I saved money on gift paper this year by wrapping all the presents with a single CVS receipt.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 18, 2024
#17
Went on a lovely drive to admire all the Christmas lights, and my preschooler spent the whole time telling me which houses he thinks could survive a tornado blast
— sarah (@sarahradz_) December 16, 2024
#18
just had to manually make holes in this swiss cheese because my kid refuses to believe it’s swiss unless it has holes 😃 pic.twitter.com/TFh7G7uDWO
— amy (parody account) (@amylouisev) December 20, 2024
#19
Cat’s in the Cradle, Christmas version pic.twitter.com/ztZWZe2vyc
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 16, 2024
#20
My 4yo: How tall was dad when he was 4?
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 16, 2024
Me: I dunno, I didn’t know him then.
4yo: You didn’t?
Me: No, we met as grownups.
4yo: So…you grew up, met dad, got married, had me and Winnie, and now we bother you all the time.
Me: Sums it up, yeah.
