20 Funny Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract

There is a quote by Lisa Kleypas that says, “They were different in so many ways, and yet somehow it made them exactly right for each other.”

I think this is true for a lot of couples, namely my parents, who have been married for 56 years. My mom has never met a stranger, and my dad is a man of few words, but somehow it works!

I’ve rounded up some funny tweets about opposites in married life…enjoy!

Janene

#1

There’s always that person who eats the pickles on their burger and the other throws them away. And they marry each other.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) October 4, 2022

#2

There are two kinds of people. The ones that pack six days before a trip, and the ones that wake up day-of and realize they need to do a load of laundry. And they marry each other.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 12, 2020

#3

There are two types of people: one who falls asleep immediately and one who lays in bed for hours thinking about how everyone they love will die one day; and they marry each other.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 18, 2022

#4

My husband (the extrovert) and I (the introvert) got separated on our flight. We're in middle seats in the same row.

I've already apologized to the people sitting next to me like 7 times. My husband is sharing beef jerky with strangers and I think he's now in someone's wedding.
— Author Abby Jimenez (@AuthorAbbyJim) December 18, 2018

#5

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 24, 2022

#6

every relationship has one person who wants to watch all the shows together and one person who already watched them all while they were asleep
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) June 16, 2021

#7 I

There are two types of people: Those who are always ten minutes early and those who think it only takes ten minutes to get anywhere, and they marry each other.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) April 27, 2023

#8 I drive my whole family nuts with my commentary: “Where is that guy from?” “Ooooh…she got OLD!” “How long is this movie anyway?”

There are two types of people, those who want silence during a movie and those who want to ask questions and they marry each other.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 21, 2020

#9

There are two types of people:

Those who load the dishwasher correctly and those who don't.

And they marry each other.
— 𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 (@pearlylondon) September 1, 2022

#10

On every road trip there is one person who says "let's pack a cooler with sandwiches and eat lunch in the car on the way" and one who says "let's not even have coffee at home because YOLO" and they end up married to each other.
— Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) November 14, 2022

#11

There are two types of people: those who think “almost ready” means about to walk out the door and those who think “almost ready” means about to jump in the shower and they marry each other.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 1, 2022

#12

My wife spent six weeks researching customer reviews of vacuum cleaners and one time I bought a new car because I had the same dog as the guy on the commercial.
— eEric (@ericsshadow) December 25, 2018

#13

there are two types of people:

those who wander the grocery aisles and those who take the path of least resistance to get just what they need

and they marry each other
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 11, 2022

#14

Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 5, 2020

#15

There are two types of people: Those who get to the airport four hours early and still worry about missing their flight, and those who think the final boarding call is a good time to go grab Starbucks, and they marry each other.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) June 13, 2023

#16

There are people who refuse to eat food past their best before date and there are people who disregard it completely and they marry each other.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 13, 2023

#17

Every marriage has one person who reports whenever a celebrity dies and one person who says “oh.”
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) April 12, 2022

#18

There are two kinds of people in the world and they marry each other. pic.twitter.com/oJ9IX87QbA
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 16, 2020

#19

There are two types of people in this world — those who see this & think “trash” & those who think “banana bread” — & they marry each other. pic.twitter.com/sZrb6T2XMn
— Michelle Strowhiro (@strowhiro) May 13, 2024

20 Funny Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7 I

#8 I drive my whole family nuts with my commentary: “Where is that guy from?” “Ooooh…she got OLD!” “How long is this movie anyway?”

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

For more laughs on marriage, check out: “25 Funny Tweets About Marriage That Every Wife Will Relate To”

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7 I

#8 I drive my whole family nuts with my commentary: “Where is that guy from?” “Ooooh…she got OLD!” “How long is this movie anyway?”

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

For more laughs on marriage, check out: “25 Funny Tweets About Marriage That Every Wife Will Relate To”

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