Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!

Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.

And Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there, hope you have a great day!

Janene

#1 Yup, sounds about right!

Did you know that fatigue usually starts at about the 6th week of pregnancy and lasts until you die
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) May 10, 2023

#2 That is hilarious and possibly genius…

When my 2yo doesn’t want to talk anymore, she ends the conversation with “happy birthday” and walks away waving bye.
— Princess | Family Wellness (@themultiplemom) May 8, 2023

#3 Ain’t that the truth!

Hated by teens: a night alone, early bedtime, nothing to do

Loved by adults: a night alone, early bedtime, nothing to do
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 8, 2023

#4 Aww, at least he tried, right??

My 7yo son made me a cup of coffee that somehow taste like beef stew.

“Mommy, I put a sprinkle of that brown stuff in it like you”

The brown stuff I use is cinnamon. The brown stuff he used was dry rub seasoning.

I can’t wait for these kids to go to my mama house today.
— Princess | Family Wellness (@themultiplemom) May 6, 2023

#5 When I tell you I literally do this for every single load of laundry, I’m not lying. I am the queen of drying de-wrinkling!

Half of my electric bill is from forgetting I have clothes in the dryer and having to de-wrinkle them over and over again.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 9, 2023

#6 Gotta love three-year-olds!

3yo, playing with her dolls: Mommy, I love you!

Me: Aw I love you too.

3yo: Oh. That was actually my baby talking to me.

Me: Oh.

3yo: Nobody said that to you.

Me: Right.

Me: Sorry.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 9, 2023

#7 Oh boy…

She believed she could so she did and now I have a meeting with her teacher and the principal.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) May 8, 2023

#8 I used to have a Roomba a long time ago and yes, I did in fact just stand there making sure it went everywhere it was supposed to go. Which kind of defeats the purpose of a Roomba LOL…

I bought a Roomba to save an hour on vacuuming, now I’m spending two hours staring at Roomba vacuuming
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 9, 2023

#9 Oooooh, that DOES sound like a good bagel!

4-year-old eating a pink frosted donut covered in sprinkles: “This is the best bagel I have EVER had!”
— KSV Eras Era (@KSVesq) May 9, 2023

#10 Oh, how true is this. And the older you get, the more true it is!

The way I’m willing to leave the house looking like a hideous swamp witch would have my 20 year old self cringing in horror
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 12, 2023

#11 I do not miss that part of having kids in elementary school…

It’s the last month of school, here are 97 activities in the middle of the day parents need to attend.

-elementary schools
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 8, 2023

#12 Nooooooo!!! Seriously, who DOES that?? That teacher is gonna be so pissed…

my 7 year old niece's second grade class has been taking care of caterpillars this month and the butterflies hatched from their cocoons this morning. this afternoon THEIR SUBSTITUTE TEACHER RELEASED THE BUTTERFLIES WHILE THE KIDS WERE AT LUNCH
— kelpy 🎈 (@kelseybuckles) May 12, 2023

#13 Be right back, gotta send this tweet to my family…

Family: What do you want to do for Mother’s Day?

All Moms: Not have to decide what we are doing for Mother’s Day, for starters.
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) May 12, 2023

#14 Literally just did that yesterday. I keep a pack of wipes in the glove compartment for exactly that purpose!

If you’re cleaning shoe prints off your glove compartment, you may have a teenager
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) May 11, 2023

#15 I would not have the first clue as to what to do with all that…

listen I respect teachers so much and you all deserve the world but also my step kid’s preschool teacher sent her home with a bar of soap, a tiny paper plate, and a plastic spoon with zero instructions and I know you guys are going through it but this is objectively hilarious
— sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) (@cottoncandaddy) May 8, 2023

#16 I do have a husband, but not one that loves yard work…

Could really go for a husband who loves yard work right now.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) May 10, 2023

#17 LOL…

me on mother's day wishing my family had just let me sleep in pic.twitter.com/9qi3F155Z9
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) May 6, 2023

#18 This should be interesting…

My son is out picking up his tux for his prom.

I asked if he wanted my help but he said, "no."

Should be interesting. Last time he did something important on his own, he gave up, got sidetracked, and came home with a framed photo of a duck that he bought at a yard sale.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 12, 2023

#19 Wow…a whole 18 minutes??

My three-hour meeting ended 18 minutes early and the leader told us all to "enjoy that free time, take care of ourselves and relax" like she had just given us all free weeklong Princess cruises
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) May 9, 2023

#20 This is brilliant…

My wife is hilarious

We’ve been trying to get ahold of our sons daycare corporate for 4 months and they literally do not answer phones or email

She applied for a job and when they contacted her for an interview she asked to be transferred to the person we needed to talk to
— Dad 2.0 – hanging on, mostly (@DadaBaseThought) May 11, 2023