25 Hilarious Tweets From Teachers

I have been lucky in my life to have had, and also to have worked with, some incredible teachers. Smart, creative, dedicated, and tireless are just some of the words that come to mind when I think of the teachers I have known.

I remember my 4th grade teacher always told me I was a good writer, which inspired me to write more and more. And now here I am, many (I’m not telling how many) years later, writing to all of you.

So thank you, Mrs. Wade, and thank you to all the wonderful teachers out there – you are appreciated more than you know.

Hope you enjoy my little compilation of teacher tweets!

Janene

#1

Today a spider was hanging from the ceiling, and my students noticed it but continued to take notes and pay attention to my presentation. That is how amazing I am at classroom management.

I’m kidding. It was absolute chaos. Students screamed, until I caught it.
— Nicholas Ferroni (@NicholasFerroni) January 4, 2023

#2

Working with kids will really strengthen you for everything in life.

Why this little girl felt a little hair on my chin and whispered in my ear
“umm Miss Camille are you a daddy?”
— Kam 💕 (@MadammeKam) September 5, 2024

#3

Sent two of my third grade girls back to class and said “I love you you’re so smart and special and beautiful and strong have an amazing and wonderful day” and one said “that made me feel good” and the other said “that was a lot of adjectives”
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) December 13, 2023

#4

Giving my classroom gluesticks human names has been revolutionary. Does a student care if a glue stick goes missing? No! Do they care if DEREK the glue stick has not been returned? ABSOLUTELY. It’s like a manhunt until Derek has been returned to his rightful spot.
— Miss B (@MissBThe3rd) September 27, 2023

#5

Two of my third graders just walked in on me eating veggie pasta and one said “your food is always so healthy” and the other said “she’s been eating hot Cheetos all morning I saw her”
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) December 12, 2023

#6

I had a family show up fifteen minutes late to my Back-to-School meet and greet. As they walk through my classroom door, the little boy says, “We’re late because my dad had to poop.”
— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) August 6, 2022

#7

Wearing very loud sandals today and as I whap whap whapped down the staircase at school a passing middle schooler shouted “GOD MISS THEM FLIPS IS FLOPPIN”
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) April 11, 2024

#8

I tried to fix a school computer today and the little 6yo boy it belonged to saw I was having trouble, and very seriously said to me, “Maybe we need an adult.”
— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) March 8, 2022

#9

Help.
A student just told me I was one of the top teachers of all time.

"There was a lady who taught Helen Keller how to read. You're right under her."

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
— LaToya Washington, M.Ed (@L_D_Washington) November 30, 2023

#10

6yo: Teacher, are you married?
Me: No
6yo: Me either.
— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) January 13, 2021

#11

My wife teaches 8th grade, which means half the boys haven’t discovered deodorant yet and the other half have discovered Axe Body Spray
— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) September 3, 2023

#12

I just told a 1st grader, "We don't have time for you to run for mayor of the cafeteria." And he said, "I can't do that anyway, I'm already sheriff of the library." Then he walked out to the bus with exaggerated wide steps so as not to catch his trouser hems on imaginary spurs.
— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) January 19, 2023

#13

Said to my fourth graders today “I can’t really see think I put my contacts in wrong” and one of my girls said “something is always going on with you”
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) December 8, 2023

#14

Sometimes, when addressing a class, I go, "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears." It's funny to me to quote Shakespeare to kindergarteners.

Then I overheard another teacher address the class, saying, "Friends!" And a kid told her, "Don't forget Romans and countrymen!"
— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) January 13, 2023

#15

In 8th grade we had to turn in a weekly journal and the day after I turned in one about the kid I had a crush on in class my teacher redid the seating chart and put us next to each other real wing woman work
— kelly kapowski (@kellykrajewski) June 20, 2018

#16

I ran into one of my students at the grocery store with some wine in my cart and he said “that’s because of us isn’t it?”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 27, 2024

#17

Today a first grader told me that she doesn't need to learn what I'm teaching because she wants to be a pineapple when she grows up.
— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) May 7, 2021

#18

6yo: (raises hand during math lesson)

Me: (anticipating a math question) Yes?

6: I found a snail in my backyard yesterday and I named it Gary.
— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) October 5, 2023

#19

Today I told the "why is six afraid of seven" joke to a class of first graders who had either never heard it, or just suddenly understood it. Three kids literally fell out of their chairs and rolled on the floor. Apex moment, never topping it.
— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) January 9, 2025

#20

Two of my nephews call me Potatochip. One of them started kindergarten last week.

He was telling me a story from school. "Potatochip! Today in kindergarten – "

My sister said, "You know, Aunt Caitlin TEACHES kindergarten."

Nephew said, "Sorry. MISS Potatochip…"
— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) September 8, 2023

#21

my mom has trained her unruly 5th grade class to respond to “hear ye hear ye” with “all hail the queen” followed by immediate silence

i’m both appalled and impressed
— george (@georjayykat) May 3, 2019

#22

Me to my first grade class: Everyone please close your eyes for a minute.
6yo: Did you forget to put on your deodorant again?
— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) February 5, 2024

#23

"First grade is wild. You're learning how to be a human, how to write things down, how to manage friendships and follow rules, and all the while everybody's teeth are falling out all over the place."

🎙 @thatsnotmustard
— TeacherGoals (@teachergoals) May 23, 2022

#23

When you're a teacher and your dog eats everyone's homework… pic.twitter.com/JugCeSToHX
— A happier day (@AHappierDay) November 17, 2019

#24

A student drew a portrait of me yesterday. Needless to say, I’m at the hairdressers tomorrow 😂😂🙌🏻 pic.twitter.com/LvK4j8AqvC
— Charlie Beswick (@ouralteredlife) September 12, 2020

#25

Me: okay everyone fold the top of your page over like this so we remember what chapter we’re on for next time

3rd grader: we’re not supposed to do that with books

Me: well they’re my books and I don’t mind so go ahead

3rd g: I can’t. The police might come for me
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) May 20, 2024

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To see how I fared as a substitute teacher, read my honest take here: “Notes From A Substitute Teacher”

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