If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
I once dated a girl with a twin and people always asked me how i could tell them apart..
— David (@latte147) January 26, 2026
It was simple, Alison painted her nails red and Bob had a beard.. 😂
#2
“Oh. Wow. Oh. Jeez. We didn’t think everyone was gonna bring a bag!” -airlines
— Dan Wilbur (@DanWilbur) May 10, 2024
#3
Of course I’m gonna buy this one obscure ingredient for this recipe I’m only going to make once and then let it take up space in my fridge until it expires.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) September 18, 2024
#4
I’m a go-with-the-flow person as long as the flow has been planned at least 3 days in advance
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 16, 2024
#5
no one tells you the older you get the more you look out your house windows
— Her Tall Boots (@fuzzlime) July 31, 2024
#6
I am in Target. I am trying to buy a photo album. I asked where they might be. Worker did not know what a photo album was. I said it was a place to keep pictures. He sent me to the tech aisle. He assumed I wanted memory to store more pictures on my phone. I am 1 billion years old
— Monica Hesse (@MonicaHesse) March 29, 2023
#7
I’m at the produce market and the smallest italian greyhound I have ever seen just snatched the remaining third of my croissant and the owner hissed AUDREY and they both ran away
— marrowing (@marrowing) June 3, 2023
#8
good news i finally found my phone that ive been using as a flashlight to find my phone for the past 10 minutes
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) December 19, 2023
#9
when you can’t remember if you took your meds so you start opening the pill bottle to see if the experience feels familiar enough to have happened recently
— latke (@latkedelrey) September 17, 2024
#10
It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it
— Dr Helen Ingram (@drhingram) September 14, 2024
#11
At the zoo with my 6 yr old and we found the sloths. It was looking right at us, so I waved
— Taryn T, Duchess of the Blue Sea 🇺🇸 (@Talyn777) October 8, 2024
6 yr: I’m not going to wave. Do you know how long it’s going take for him to wave back?
🤣😂😅
#12
Mad as hell to report that reading a paperback book the hour before bed instead of scrolling on my phone has significantly improved my sleep quality.
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) September 18, 2024
#13
Sorry I was late I was refilling my purse Ibuprofen with my bathroom Ibuprofen.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) April 23, 2024
#14
My 4-year-old just monologued at me for 25 minutes, paused, and then said "Can I tell you something?"
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 10, 2024
#15
Watched a dude carry a screaming toddler across the parking lot. He noticed me looking at him and said, "He's mine, I'm not stealing him." And then, before I could reply, he added, "If I was gonna take one, it definitely wouldn't be this one"
— MA LE BO (@Melo_Malebo) October 10, 2024
#16
Teacher: we need more empty Amazon boxes for our class project
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 3, 2024
Me: finally it’s my time to shine
#17
My son wrote an essay about how much he hates mayonnaise, and it begins, "As a scribe I see fit to write down all my troubles" and ends "I fell to the ground and moaned for the next few hours, lying in the moonlight wishing to die."
— Bronwen Tate (@bronwentate) December 16, 2022
#18
My neighbor’s kid said hi but I couldn’t think of his name and said “Hi son of John” like some biblical dude
— Fillmore Wilbury 🎶 (@RussRoth4) September 8, 2024
#19
Terrible news. My 9yo has informed us that she's "allergic to chores."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) October 6, 2024
#20
I slept in until 9:30 this morning. But don't be too jealous because I did it wrong and now I can't look to the left.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) September 29, 2024
