Oh, cheese, how I love thee, let me count the ways: Cheddar, Parmesan, Mozzarella…ok, now I’m hungry.
I can do without a lot of things, but cheese ain’t one of them.
I’ve rounded up the funniest tweets about cheese for you and your cheese-loving family and friends.
Enjoy!
Janene
#1
We have audacity and nerve to thank for cheese. Because somebody saw milk get so old that it became a solid, ate some, and took it back to the village like “This is absolutely delicious. You must try it.”
— Ryan Ken (@Ryan_Ken_Acts) August 28, 2021
#2
2-year-old: *screeches*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 29, 2018
Me: What's the emergency?
2: I need cheese.
That is an emergency.
#3
I once broke up with a guy because he ate my grilled cheese, and when I get really lonely, I still think about that grilled cheese
— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) February 3, 2025
#4
CATCH THE DAMN BALL
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 11, 2024
I yell at professional world class athletes while I accidentally drip cheese dip on my shirt.
#5
why do supermarkets have cheese in so many places, here’s the fancy cheese, here’s the ok cheese, here’s the auxiliary cheese display like please..no more riddles
— laura vincent (@HungryandFrozen) May 4, 2024
#6
No macaroni and cheese is better than the last 3 bites from the pot with a wooden spoon standing by the stove.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 14, 2020
#7
The pottery scene from Ghost except it’s just me standing behind the waiter at Olive Garden helping him put Parmesan cheese on my pasta
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) March 3, 2024
#8
I taught my toddler how to wish upon a star tonight and she wished for a big cheese wheel.
— LaughCryCoffee (@laughcrycoffee) October 1, 2022
#9
My son just turned 3 so we went to his yearly check up and the Doctor asked him what his favorite fruit was and he looked that man dead in his eyes and said cheese.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) December 14, 2022
#10
Don’t let a recipe tell you how much cheese to add, just listen to your heart
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 28, 2022
#11
I'm not proud of the person I become when I see a cheese tray at a party.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) April 21, 2022
#12
If you’re wondering what peak happiness looks like, my 2 y/o is walking around with a slice of muenster cheese in one hand and mozzarella string cheese in the other.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) August 4, 2022
#13
I got a dm from a guy who wanted to be my sugar daddy. He said I’d have a $500/week allowance and I don’t know how to tell him that that’s my cheese budget.
— Annie the Nanny (@AnnietheNanny1) December 28, 2018
#14
[grating cheese over my pasta]
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 18, 2016
Waiter: Tell me when
Me:
W:…
Me:
W:…
Me:
W:…
Me:
W: are you gonna say when?
Me: Wow our first fight.
#15
My toddler just told me I’m the best mummy ever because I “bought the good cheese for once” so I’ll be riding this high until her next tantrum
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) June 25, 2022
#16
9pm: I'm going to have a piece of cheese
— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝘀 (@im_all_id) December 5, 2023
10pm: I'm going to eat cheese until I'm ill
#17
The amount of cheese I buy is between me and god and this 17yo cashier
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 17, 2024
#18
What’s the thing where you have a drawer in your refrigerator full of cheese but every time you go to the grocery store you think you might be out of cheese so you buy more? I have that.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 4, 2024
#19
[restaurant]
— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) November 22, 2019
Me: I'm gonna run into their kitchen and grab some extra cheese
Her: … you definitely don't have permission
Me: It's actually pronounced parmesan
#20
The old lady ringing me up at the store got frustrated w/ the barcode on my cheese not working so she just gave it to me for free…she is now sole beneficiary of my Will
— floorboard (@StruggleDisplay) March 6, 2024
#21
When I was a teen I went to a GI doctor bc I thought something was seriously wrong with me but the dr was like “You’re just eating too many mozzarella sticks” and he was right and I have never fully recovered from this brutal own
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 22, 2019
#22
I'm not saying my daughter has life figured out but she's walking around with a purse full of cheese.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 17, 2020
#23
When slicing cheese, for every slice you slice, you must eat a slice. This is the only method. All other methods are wrong.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 3, 2018
#24
I told my wife we could go out to eat absolutely anywhere she wanted.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 9, 2021
She chose a Mexican restaurant so she could order queso.
Girls don't want to be wined and dined. They just want to eat their body weight in cheese.
#25
my little sister went on a date with a young farmer tonight. He decided to gift her a 12kg wheel of cheese…? pic.twitter.com/lYdXYtgHOw
— izzy 🌾 (@devilmeadow) April 10, 2021
