20 of the Funniest Pet Tweets in July 2024

Woke up at 3am to find my cat eating a slice of my pizza on my chest. The pizza was downstairs in the kitchen. Dragged it upstairs to eat it off my body.

— Lillie (@lillie_arghn) June 29, 2024

Had a little girl in child minding at the gym this morning who told me in great detail about the pets her family had had, including a cat who was taken last year to live on a farm. "But he was pretty old," she said, "so he probably didn't last long on the farm. I bet he's dead."

— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) July 29, 2024

I got worried for a second when I didn’t see my dog in the front window to welcome me home as he usually does.

Then realized it was probably because I was walking him. 😣

Is it Friday yet?!?

— LL Gabagool Jay (@JayTorch1031) July 17, 2024

My favorite thing is when you stop petting a dog, and he puts his paw on you like "we're not done here"

— Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer (@lighterfandango) July 20, 2024

Me, on phone: No. Like I explained in the email, I won’t be coming in today.

Boss: because your dog is (clears throat)… ‘so smol’??

Me: that’s right, I’m glad you understand 🫡

— AmberGambler (@ambergambler_) July 18, 2024

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) July 8, 2024

Dad, trying to get the cat to like him: it’s okay, I’m just a weird little guy too

— Dr Fi Bowler (@FionaBowler) July 12, 2024

Who you are when you talk to your dog is the real you.

— your other mom (@difficultpatty) July 18, 2024

Them: You shouldn't let your cat sleep in your bed.

Me: My cat can borrow my car if she wants to.

— Banana Puddin (@BananaPudd0424) July 18, 2024

as a dog , I can’t imagine something more embarrassing than your ear being inside out. just HUMILIATING

— callie actually (@myfriendcallie) July 6, 2024

Car insurance man: And is there anyone else in your household?
Me: I have a cat but he won’t be driving the vehicle.

— Dr Fi Bowler (@FionaBowler) July 13, 2024

You might be surprised to find out that it’s actually quite difficult to take a good picture of 5 dogs who are wearing birthday hats and all looking at the camera at the same time

— Sam G (@ItsSamG) July 9, 2024

I tried to give my dog a piece of celery as a treat and he’s been ignoring me since then, and frankly I don’t blame him

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 2, 2024

Being a cat must be hard because you have sharp pointy teeth and claws but can also be picked up and carried like a baby

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) July 15, 2024

People don’t let their pets on their furniture. Meanwhile, my dog is the executor of my will.

— Missy Baker (@TheMissyBaker) July 29, 2024

This is Gordie. His human accidentally shrunk their nice wool shirt, but decided to make the most of it. 13/10 pic.twitter.com/CQSgR8db7t

— WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) July 8, 2024

everyone should do this pic.twitter.com/EsuRWl42oV

— Dont Show Your Cat (@DontShowYourCat) July 22, 2024

😊😍 pic.twitter.com/jn6XEIeoHS

— The Dalbo Dog (@Dalbodog) July 26, 2024