20 of the Funniest Quips From Parents This Week

Y’all. I woke up with a headache and I hear my 9 year old son in the kitchen, so I asked him to bring me some water and an Aleve. He brings me some water AND A LEAF. When I tell you I have tears from laughing so hard.

— Nicole ✨ (@BombshellCole) November 9, 2024

Underrated hard part of parenting is holding it together when your kid says something unintentionally funny. I asked my 4 year old if he was a baby or a little boy and he said he was a “young scientist.”

— Cartoons Hate Her! (@CartoonsHateHer) November 14, 2024

Having children is so wild because why am I begging you to take one bite of your cinnamon toast.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 11, 2024

The 6yo neighbor kid looked inside and said, “whoa your house is way different than mine” and I’m going to need him to come back and elaborate

— meghan (@deloisivete) November 10, 2024

It’s funny how my 19 and 21 year old children, rightfully, want me to treat them like adults but both still fully expect me to buy them a chocolate advent calendar each.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 11, 2024

This isn't going to end well for you.

– me, alone in the house, to the loaf of banana bread on the counter

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 12, 2024

Mexican restaurants are like: we have 1 meal arranged 54 different ways, which one would you like?

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 14, 2024

I was just at my neighbors house with my kids and a bunch of other neighbor kids and the host asked a 3yo if she could get her anything and the girl goes “could you bake a pie?”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 14, 2024

My daughter is home sick, so I just whipped up the # 1 remedy: grilled cheese and soup. Just like my ancestors before me

— McDad (@mcdadstuff) November 12, 2024

What is parenting like? Imagine you’re having the highest ever stress day at work, can’t possibly get everything done, are trying to manage people who are terrible at their job, and suddenly you have to drop everything to give your boss a temporary tattoo.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 15, 2024

Nancy Drew and the case of the mysterious acronym my teen sent me that I can’t figure out.

— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) November 13, 2024

People in Instagram are always freaking out about how to get rid of their kids Halloween candy before they eat it all but personally I’ve been using it to bribe them to get into the car for the last two weeks.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 13, 2024

If you think the Mike Tyson Jake Paul fight is going to be big, wait until my wife finds out how much I bet on it.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 15, 2024

When your kids are old enough to punish by taking their keys instead of their screens, the next phase of your life begins.

— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) November 14, 2024

When I get handed back change with people in line behind me it’s like I just got opposable thumbs for the first time and don’t know how to operate a wallet

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 14, 2024

Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a roll.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 13, 2024

we’ve been teaching the 2 yr old about cutlery and setting the table for supper and, well, pic.twitter.com/sTPcAjrXlE

— madeline odent (@oldenoughtosay) November 14, 2024