Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
My 7yo asked “why doesn’t mommy eat ice cream?” And my husband and I laughed and laughed and laughed because every night after the kids go to sleep I eat a giant mug full of ice cream.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) October 13, 2024
This was the very first time she’s appeared to be impressed by me.
#2
*4yr old watching beauty and the beast*
— Mandalynns23 (@mandalynns23) October 17, 2024
“Does the princess marry the bison?”
THE BISON 🦬😂
#3
Took my kids to breakfast and the server was taking our order and my 20 month old goes “I want French fries” and she wrote it down???? Ma’am she is 1.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 14, 2024
#4
When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask "what percentage are you on?"
— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) October 13, 2024
#5
Every year on my birthday my daughter asks how old I am and then cries and tells me she doesn’t want me to die so that’s a fun tradition
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 15, 2024
#6
I was enjoying building a Lego set with my son until my wife tapped me on the shoulder and said he left for school an hour ago.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) October 17, 2024
#7
When they said kids were expensive I was like pffft ya ok 🙄 I'm good at thrifting and mending and we live near a library …I forgot about the part where spending money delights them and I live to please my tiny overlords
— scary sarah (@sarahradz_) October 17, 2024
#8
A little bit of my body is a shark
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 17, 2024
-my 6yo explaining cartilage
#9
5, explaining how he recovered from a tantrum: I just cried a little in my bed, but then I did a quick Macarena and now I’m feeling okay
— Frances Klein (@fklein907) October 13, 2024
#10
4yo and my husband made pasta from scratch for dinner. 4yo took one bite and said “this is the best meal I’ve ever had, please can we make this again” then promptly left the table and ate no more. Bless preschoolers.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 18, 2024
#11
my 7 and 8 year old walked into my bedroom and asked me why I had so many wrinkles and then left the room.
— Dan (@dadopotamus) October 14, 2024
I was not prepared for this.
#12
At breakfast my son yelled at my daughter for chewing too loud and my daughter yelled at my son for breathing too loud. I sat back and smiled knowing they are prepared for their future marriages.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) October 17, 2024
#13
Yesterday I hung a basketball hoop on my son’s bedroom door then put on an absolute clinic—100% offensive & defensive rebounds, 360 windmill dunks, pure fire. This morning as I gave an invisible mob of adoring fans high 5’s I discovered that I can’t lift my left arm over my head.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 18, 2024
#14
My 3 year old is currently mad at me because she didn't get to hold me when I was a baby. Parenting is so weird.
— Katie Sawade Hall (@bluesawadeshoes) October 18, 2024
#15
Halloween is great because it combines two of my favorite hobbies: driving out to a wet farm to handpick the heaviest inedible vegetable I can find, and taking my small disguised children out past their bedtimes to roam the streets in darkness
— scary sarah (@sarahradz_) October 14, 2024
#16
Having a teenage daughter is great because you can wake up an hour early to help her do makeup and a full blowout for an event and tell her how beautiful and smart and capable she is, and in return she can tell you everything you’re doing wrong in your life. 😅
— Stacy Mitchell (@stacybmitchell) October 17, 2024
#17
3yo has learned to yell his music request “Dolly Parton songs please NOT WITH A MAN SINGING” from his carseat. He’s been burned by Islands in the Stream one too many times and he won’t be made a fool of again
— Hannah Matthews (@hannahmsays) October 18, 2024
#18
My 4yo told me this morning his class does "weekend news". "I probably won't say anything today, we didn't do anything this weekend". We just drove to Pennsylvania, stayed at Cartoon Network Hotel, and went to a theme park which on Sat he described as "the best day of his life".
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 15, 2024
#19
I started singing to the 2 yr old and she said, "Oh no!" so I guess I won't be doing that again
— Trey (@treydayway) October 18, 2024
#20
Kids these days will never know the joy of making a Christmas list by lying on the floor and thumbing through a 2,000-page Sears Wish Book.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 15, 2024
