20 Funny and Spot-On Tweets About Going to the Dentist

Dentist: *asks me a complex question about my life*

Me: Well-

Dentist: *shoves his hand inside my mouth*

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 3, 2016

Dentist’s office: You’re past due for an appointment.

Also dentist’s office: Earliest we can get you in is 6 months from now.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 8, 2022

DENTAL HYGIENIST: your teeth and gums are moments from death. Quit your job so you can floss 16 times an hour. I hate you!
DENTIST: looks good!

— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) October 23, 2018

dentist: avoid hard foods for a day or two
me: like pretzels and things like that
dentist: exactly. stick to softer foods
me: like soft pretzels and things like that

— brent (@murrman5) February 16, 2023

I’m just standing in the hallway outside my dentist’s office because I’m 10 minutes early but I don’t want to seem clingy

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) June 7, 2018

the adult version of a corn maze is just finding your way out of the back part of the dentist’s office after your dental assistant abandons you

— chase (@_chase_____) October 8, 2022

My life would have been very different had I done anything with the same intensity as brushing my teeth on the day of a dentist appointment.

— Spanky McDutcherson 🔸 (@thatdutchperson) July 29, 2015

the dentist just asked me to open up and now I can’t stop crying

— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) August 4, 2020

I love attention so much that I get excited about going to the dentist bc I know they’re going to compliment how well I floss and that should tell you everything you need to know about me

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) June 27, 2018

I hope the dentist notices I’ve flossed 365 times yesterday.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 14, 2021

oh my god my phone died and I just plugged it in after like 30 mins and the only text I had was from my dentist’s office, which is worse than having no texts at all

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) February 10, 2021

Dentist: "When was the last time you flossed?"

Me: "BRO, you were there."

— 9GAG ❤️ Memeland (@9GAG) November 13, 2016

the dentist said I needed a crown and I was like finally someone who recognizes me for the queen I am

— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) January 28, 2021

In my 20’s: shaving my legs for a date

In my 30’s: shaving my chin hairs and moustache for the dentist

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 23, 2020

Receptionist at the dentist office will look u dead in the eye and ask if ur available 4 months and 13 days from now

— Pastor Kyle. (@itsqail) June 16, 2020

My 5-year-old pulled out three feet of dental floss.

I'm not sure if she's going to clean her teeth or kill a guy from behind.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 18, 2018

Why did I schedule my dental cleaning first thing on a Monday morning? I hate who I was 6 months ago.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 16, 2021

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) December 13, 2021

I just had my dental cleaning and as she was scraping my teeth my tongue accidentally licked her finger and now I need to find a new dentist in a new state under a new identity.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 3, 2021