21 Times Celebrities Made Us Laugh On Twitter

why do people look at me like I'm crazy when i use coupons at grocery or try bargaining at retail, IM FROM NEW YORK WHERE IS THE SALE RACK

— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) December 21, 2012

I have just discovered Etsy. Goodbye.

— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) October 12, 2020

On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 16, 2016

Just texted my teenager to remind me what Parental Control password I'd set & that she'd figured out, so I could get into my own Netflix.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) May 21, 2016

Officers, I swear it wasn't me.
As you can see, I was in New York.
To the hardworking Blackpool Police, good luck with the investigation.#itwasntme pic.twitter.com/EDFF9dZoYR

— schwim (@DavidSchwimmer) October 24, 2018

Please no. https://t.co/bCbHGTKffs

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) July 6, 2020

Hey guys, wanna feel old?

I'm 40.

You're welcome.

— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) August 26, 2020

I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015

My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015

Wives always be putting lotion on their hands at bedtime before broaching a serious topic

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) May 12, 2022

if the second I text you back, you call me because you know I'm holding my phone, I will call the police.

— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) October 4, 2019

Going out on a limb here, but doorbells and phone rings should be banned in TV commercials.

— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) January 26, 2020

I’m at the age where, whenever I think of my age, I think, “I should go lie down.”

— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) May 16, 2021

Whenever I leave a restaurant, I always stop by a random table and say, “Thank you for taking care of our check.”

— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) June 21, 2021

"I don't know, sometimes I just wish there was a room you could sit in that made breathing harder."

– inventor of the sauna

— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) April 24, 2018

All my wife wants for Mother’s Day is two years of alone time.

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 8, 2022

Cashier #1: “Can I help you?”
Me: How long would it take to get a turkey burger to go?
Cashier #1: “About 5 minutes”
Cashier #2: “Are you Tony Hawk?”
Me: yes
Cashier #1: “Do you want a turkey burger then?”
Me: yes please, and an iced tea
Cashier #1: “Can I get a name?”

— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) January 4, 2020

Kid at skatepark:
“Are you Tony Hawk?”
me: I am
him: “no you’re not”
me: ok, I’m not
him: “but are you, FOR REAL?”
me: I am, for real
him: I thought you’d look younger
me: ME TOO

— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) July 29, 2019

If you give me food in a container you will never get the container back, I don’t care if it is diamond encrusted Tupperware that has been in your family for generations

— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) July 25, 2021

When I wear those trendy sports bras with a million straps I get stuck in them like a seagull in a six pack ring

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) August 29, 2015

People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 7, 2017