Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
I only realised my daughter was misreading the gingerbread man recipe when she announced that we needed "either one or four teaspoons of salt." I looked & saw that we needed 1/4 tsp of salt. By this point I had already added one or two teaspoons of ginger, mixed spice & cinnamon.
— Gareth P Jones (@jonesgarethp) December 11, 2023
#2
Shout out to the mom who signed up for paper plates within seconds of the class holiday party list going live
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 13, 2023
#3
I cooked a frozen lasagna with frozen garlic bread and a frozen apple pie for dessert and my son (literally oblivious this was all store bought) looked at me so genuinely and said, “In my life, I have never had anything you have made that tasted as good as this.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 12, 2023
#4
Sometimes I think about when I told my 10 year old he could be like me when he grew up because I was trying to be cool and he said YAY, I GET TO LAY ON A HEATING PAD ALL DAY
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) December 11, 2023
#5
I'm "I used to write my Christmas list by sitting down in front of a 4,000-page Sears Catalog" years old.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 10, 2023
#6
Boys and girls are so different. My girl was reciting the alphabet in full at 18 months, but as for my 2yo son, I’ve had to yell at him 3 times in less than 5 minutes to not deliberately run head first into the load bearing basement post.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) December 11, 2023
#7
Saving seats for your family at a crowded middle school chorus concert is a top 5 stressful moment.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 13, 2023
#8
Asked my 6-year-old what she wants for Christmas and she said "a toy chicken that's taller than Anthony" so now I can't even finish my shopping until I track down this Anthony and find out how tall he is. Why can't she just want a bike?
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) December 12, 2023
#9
The amount of time it takes for a dog to find a place to poop is directly proportional to how hard it is raining.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 11, 2023
#10
My wife and I enjoy decorating together: I hang an ornament and then she moves it to a different place and tells me to go make drinks.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) December 9, 2023
#11
I never understood how the little drummer boy’s parents could just send him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought a recorder home from school.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 10, 2023
#12
Christmas cards are like, here’s a hard copy of the Facebook picture I posted a week ago.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 11, 2023
#13
My son cannot remember one of the two things he wanted for Christmas this year and he’s not concerned because “Santa knows what it was.”
— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) December 9, 2023
#14
My 13-year-old made fun of me because I use commas when I text her. Just wait. Next time, I'm going to hit her with a semicolon.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 14, 2023
#15
I'm at that frantic point of gift-buying where I think my mom might really like a tactical flashlight.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 11, 2023
#16
We were on our way to our family Christmas party and my daughter turned to me and said “if I were a dog my tail would be wagging like crazy right now”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 14, 2023
#17
How many school concerts do you need to experience before realizing you need black pants and white shirts that actually fit your children before the day of the concert? Because it’s not 6.
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) December 11, 2023
#18
My 3yo biggest talent right now is threats. Yesterday my husband and him were sliding in socks and my husband slid when it was 3yos turn and he got mad and yelled “I’m going to bake your feet into pies and then you won’t be able to slide at all bc your feet will be pies”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 13, 2023
#19
My 6yo thinks the Rudolph lyrics are "and they shouted out with brie" so I'm taking that as a sign to get more cheese
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 14, 2023
#20
[Bath & Body Works]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 11, 2023
Me: I need a bottle of body lotion for my wife.
Clerk: These are Buy 3 Get 1 Free.
Me: I just need this one here.
Clerk: That's not Buy 3 Get 1 but it IS Buy 1 Get 2 and if you buy this it's Buy 2 Get 3 Free.
Me [leaving with 300 bottles]: how did this happen
