25 Hilariously Relatable Tweets About Driving

Whenever I see someone trying to parallel park I avert my eyes and continue walking giving them the privacy they need because I’m a decent human being

— Tomi Obaro (@TomiObaro) December 16, 2020

I got pulled over ONE TIME when my daughter was with me and now whenever she sees a police car she says her own special little prayer of “please god let my mom drive normal”

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 31, 2024

Just heard someone asking for directions in a gas station like our forefathers

— natalayhehoo (@highprobably1) February 19, 2022

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" – George Carlin #quoteoftheday

— Get Wiser (@GetWiser) May 18, 2022

If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest!! KNEES TO CHEST!

— 🌙Moon🌙 (@xmoonragex) July 24, 2019

“I’m just gonna get gas in the morning” is one of the worst decisions you can make as an adult.

— Jordan (@jordanconnealy) July 14, 2020

It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) June 9, 2016

Whenever people tailgate me when I’m going 40 in a 35 I always purposely slow down because it’s like I gave you an extra 5 and you didn’t appreciate it so now you get nothing

— Mon (@monschleichs) July 27, 2018

Before marriage, I would sit at stop lights for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) February 8, 2019

Your car will never make that noise for the mechanic. Your car is like “That’s our special noise. I only make that noise for you.”

— Jerry Lock (@jlock17) May 16, 2022

riding in those self-driving Ubers not because I think they’re safe but because I want to be part of the class action lawsuit in 10 years

— trash jones (@jzux) March 13, 2025

when people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it” i’m like, oh you do not know what i’m capable of

— erica (@ericanextdooor) June 1, 2024

every road trip needs 2 people. one person to drive and one person to read every insane billboard out loud

— trash jones (@jzux) July 7, 2024

A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming “WHAT’S THAT” and a driving parent yelling “I CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU’RE POINTING AT” repeat until everyone is crying

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 2, 2023

The way I act when I have to line my wheel up at the car wash you would think I'm trying to land a 747 on a tightrope.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) February 23, 2024

4th grader: I saw you driving your car in the parking lot this morning

Me: yeah did you see how bad of a job I did?

4th g: yeah my mom said that too

— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) December 20, 2023

I try to be a good person, but then someone pulls out in front of me doing ten below the speed limit and I gotta try again tomorrow.

— New_England_Dad (@new_england_dad) September 3, 2021

the number of turns i miss because my gps overestimates my ability to comprehend 600 ft

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 20, 2022

I have to move my car and parallel park it into a spot opposite some workmen and honestly I would rather drive it directly into the sea

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) November 3, 2023

Did anyone else's parents tell them that turning on the car's interior light while driving is a federal crime?

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) February 5, 2024

DMV Lady: Do you want to retake your photo? You look mad.

Me: I am mad.

DMV Lady: But you'll look mad on here for 5 years.

Me: I will still be mad in 5 years.

— Amanda B (@amandajpanda) December 1, 2020

The parent-child roles really do reverse over time. Last night my 79 yr old mother and 80 yr old father called me to pick them up from a restaurant because they stayed later than expected and didn’t want to drive in the dark and also because they were drunk.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) July 1, 2025