20 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Family

The most unrealistic thing I've ever seen in a movie is when an entire family sits down to eat breakfast together on a weekday.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 14, 2022

My 7yo has three aunts. He calls them Auntie Ice Cream, Auntie Lego, and Auntie Pam. Time to step up your auntie game, Pam.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 2, 2022

I recently bought a new hearing aid. I haven't told my family that my hearing is much improved, but I have changed my will twice.

— Bryony Burrell (@lifeofbryony) June 3, 2020

Is she really your mom if she doesn't call you by all your siblings' names before calling yours?

— Asmita ❣️ (@azzytwin6) July 6, 2018

My family says their goodbyes then stand around talking for 30-45 more minutes.

— MELISSA 💘 (@Melissa_in_TN) July 5, 2022

My daughter and her cousin have always been close. On their first day of kindergarten together the teacher asked her what side her cousin was on, mom’s side or dad’s side.

My daughter looked at the teacher and confidently stated, “She’s on my side.”

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) February 21, 2022

My family has been giving each other the same five gift bags since 1984.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) October 13, 2022

Sometimes I like to mess with my family and hide their stuff where they can't find it.

Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.

— Stay at Homie (@stayathomies) January 8, 2020

My husband and I called my sweet, 85-year-old grandma to tell her I got a new job.

She congratulated us, talked for a bit, and then hung up.

Later she called me to say I should open a secret bank account and never tell my husband about it.

My grandma is fierce.

— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) November 12, 2018

First rule of family gatherings, always bring your own car so you can leave whenever you want.

— ⚡️Gordon ⚡️ (@coastaln8v73) August 18, 2019

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden they got McDonald’s money now.

— I Hope I Dont Sound Ridiculous but.. (@DasaniWThaDrip) February 26, 2021

Finished off a roll of wrapping paper so I bonked the nearest family member on the head with the tube because them’s the rules.

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 24, 2023

If you can't tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

— Shower Thoughts (@showerfeelings) July 3, 2023

no one is weirder than your dads side of the family 🤣🤣🤣

— linda 🎰 (@gawwdiis) September 24, 2022

I told my nephew a watermelon was gonna grow in his stomach because he ate some of the seeds and I kid you not, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “nope because there’s no sunlight so you’re wrong and college has failed you”
He’s 7.

— gracie (@GracieGrayC) May 24, 2018

I'm the only one in my family who likes mustard, so… pic.twitter.com/uayk11Bl8E

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 14, 2021

“what’s it like having a sister?” pic.twitter.com/mNkSOSXZBU

— 𝔲𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔥𝔞🗡 (@cinnamxntxast) November 3, 2017

Before you marry someone, find out if their family drinks mimosas or runs 5ks on holiday mornings.

— TWEETS ABOUT WINE (@wwlwine) October 26, 2019

I just blocked two family members on social media.
The holidays are going to be fun this year.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) November 15, 2022