20 Funny Tweets About Family Everyone Can Relate To

I recently bought a new hearing aid. I haven't told my family that my hearing is much improved, but I have changed my will twice.

— Bryony Burrell (@lifeofbryony) June 3, 2020

My 7yo has three aunts. He calls them Auntie Ice Cream, Auntie Lego, and Auntie Pam. Time to step up your auntie game, Pam.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 2, 2022

Midwest dads:

gets bill at restaurant: "what’s the damage”

tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”

flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”

asked what time it is: “time for you to get a watch”

answers the phone: “YELLO”

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) September 3, 2019

Is she really your mom if she doesn't call you by all your siblings' names before calling yours?

— Asmita 🇹🇹 (@azzytwin6) July 6, 2018

I've been married for seven years and when we visit my mother-in-law she still types her wifi password in for me rather than share it.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 24, 2020

My daughter and her cousin have always been close. On their first day of kindergarten together the teacher asked her what side her cousin was on, mom’s side or dad’s side.

My daughter looked at the teacher and confidently stated, “She’s on my side.”

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) February 21, 2022

My family has been giving each other the same five gift bags since 1984.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) October 13, 2022

Sometimes I like to mess with my family and hide their stuff where they can't find it.

Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) January 8, 2020

My husband and I called my sweet, 85-year-old grandma to tell her I got a new job.

She congratulated us, talked for a bit, and then hung up.

Later she called me to say I should open a secret bank account and never tell my husband about it.

My grandma is fierce.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 12, 2018

First rule of family gatherings, always bring your own car so you can leave whenever you want.

— ⚡️Gordon ⚡️ (@coastaln8v73) August 18, 2019

my family says their goodbyes then stand around talking for 30-45 more minutes

— – (@darryllcfc) January 21, 2022

The Roomba keeps going right past a piece of garbage without picking it up. It’s one of the family now.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 27, 2021

If you can't tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

— Shower Thoughts (@showerfeelings) July 3, 2023

no one is weirder than your dads side of the family 🤣🤣🤣

— linda 🍓 (@gawwdiis) September 24, 2022

I told my nephew a watermelon was gonna grow in his stomach because he ate some of the seeds and I kid you not, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “nope because there’s no sunlight so you’re wrong and college has failed you”
He’s 7.

— gracie (@GracieGrayC) May 24, 2018

The most unrealistic thing I've ever seen in a movie is when an entire family sits down to eat breakfast together on a weekday.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 14, 2022

“what’s it like having a sister?” pic.twitter.com/mNkSOSXZBU

— 𝔲𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔥𝔞🗡 (@cinnamxntxast) November 3, 2017

Before you marry someone, find out if their family drinks mimosas or runs 5ks on holiday mornings.

— TWEETS ABOUT WINE (@wwlwine) October 26, 2019

one time in high school my brother took my car and CRASHED it, got it fixed and put it back in the driveway all within my 6hr school day and he kept it a secret for 4 years!!! i think that’s the most sibling thing ever

— jenny t (@jrtyszka) May 29, 2018