The Funniest Posts From Parents in 2025

My 7 year old just informed me that she’s afraid to have kids bc of the laundry and the lunches

— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) January 6, 2025

My 4yo was struggling to put his shorts on this morning. I went to help him, pulled the waistband up, and an alarm clock flew out the leg hole

— sarah (@sarahradz_) January 14, 2025

My 4yo is in a know-it-all phase where every time he asks a question he prefaces by saying “I already know this but can you remind me…” I told him there was a guy named Plato who said we’re born knowing everything and merely rediscover things, and he said “yeah I knew that”

— William Gerrard (@Bill_Gerrard) January 19, 2025

My daughter’s boyfriend was complaining about how difficult it is to be a guy. My daughter reached into her purse, pulled out a pad, and said “here, cry into this.”

— BOOP (@Pettyyyboop) February 10, 2025

8yo, curious about sex: where do you do it?

me: uh, [preparing to draw a diagram]

8yo: like is there a place you go, like a special doctor's office,

— once and future wife geist (@wife_geist) February 19, 2025

My five year-old son refers to me and him collectively as the 'Crazy Gang', and wants to have a son when he grows up so that the Crazy Gang can have a third member.

— Tom Whyman (@HealthUntoDeath) February 26, 2025

What I used to say to my mom at 15: YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING! ALL MY FRIENDS STAY OUT AT CLUBS TILL 3AM IN THE CITY ON A WEDNESDAY AND NO ONE ELSE HAS A CURFEW!!!
What my 15yo says to me: I think I want to become an overnight oats person.

— Karol Markowicz (@karol) March 21, 2025

My son just informed me he's getting married during second recess tomorrow.

— Jessica Malone Grider (@mrs_g_rider) October 7, 2025

My 4 year old told me he saw his “girlfriend” at the kids gym and I’m like oh aww how cute who is she and he goes “oh she works there”

— Cartoons Hate Her! (@CartoonsHateHer) March 17, 2025

My daughter was beaming when I picked her up from school today. She proudly announced that she’d been named “third in command” of her dance team. Her dance team, which practices exclusively at recess, is composed of her and her two best friends.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 23, 2025

I came home from my trip to a suspiciously clean house.

Found out my 18 year old had some friends over for a cookout while I was gone.

Looked around at my clean house again and decided I didn’t need to ask any questions about this cookout or who was there.

— AlwaysAshley (@AshleyAlready) June 17, 2025

“Ooohhh is that a charcuterie board?” -my 8 year old having a much different childhood than I did

— Marissa 💚🤶🏼🎄💛 (@michimama75) December 21, 2024

4yo: "do you like my picture? it's a sad monster. he is sad because there is fire and no firefighters and he thinks he is going to die. do you know WHY there aren't any firefighters?"

me: "tell me"

4yo, conspiratorially: "because I don't know how to draw them."

— 🌾🍁🍂 bosco 🍂🍁🌾 (@selentelechia) July 5, 2025

my child has entered the "why?" stage of linguistic development and i've realized i know absolutely nothing

— Alex Moskowitz (@alexrmoskowitz) July 10, 2025

Nephew pretended he'd never heard of an ice cream sandwich so we'd buy him one to let him "try something new"

— whiskey dick van dyke (@DeadSelves) July 4, 2025

my son said everyone else has such cool names, better than his. so i asked what name does he think is cooler. he said “WALTER”

— kay marie (@kemimarie) June 8, 2025

My 2 year old just looked outside and exclaimed “my rock is growing so fast!”
and then the 9 year old whispered to me “I swap it out for a larger rock when she isn’t looking.”

— Ryan Briggs (@ryancbriggs) August 3, 2025

My daughter’s new bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) July 21, 2025

three year old heard us talking about social security numbers. asked what his is. i said: ill tell you, but you cant tell anyone. he agreed. i told him his social security number is 9. twenty three minutes later he told the mailman.

— owen cyclops (@owenbroadcast) June 2, 2025