Just some funny posts from women I came across that brought me some laughs!
Hope these bring you some smiles.
Janene
#1
Every day when I get home, the first thing I like to do is change into something that makes me look like I never plan on leaving my house again
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) March 2, 2025
#2
finally completed a very important task i’ve been avoiding for several months. it took 8 minutes and zero effort on my part and i felt immediate and immense relief. i probably won’t learn from this
— frankie (@frankieats) March 6, 2025
#3
I ordered side dishes from Cracker Barrel to take to my mom’s for Thanksgiving and when I asked if they would be hot at pick-up the lady said, “Are you taking to someone’s house? Bc it’s going to say Cracker Barrel on the pan so bring dishes.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) November 26, 2019
Good God that’s customer service.
#4
There’s a couple breaking up so loudly on the sidewalk in front of my house! He said WHO ARE YOU GONNA TAKE TO YOUR SISTER’S WEDDING NEXT WEEKEND? She said MOZZARELLA STICKS! Which is a valid and devastating blow.
— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) August 21, 2023
#5
the dentist asking if a monday at 2pm in november works & you just have to be like Well Ok.
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) March 11, 2025
#6
kind of deeply evil that you have to wash your face and brush your teeth EVERY NIGHT even when you’re SO TIRED. they should invent a body that doesn’t need to be maintained
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) March 4, 2025
#7
I bought a bottle of soda, and it fell on the floor of my car while I was driving, rolling around for twenty minutes. I was afraid to open it.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) March 12, 2025
When my husband got in the car, I offered him a sip so he would have to open it.
I’m a problem solver.
#8
my husband has been taking sailing lessons and instead of putting it on our calendar like a normal person he prefers to stand up abruptly, stare out the window, and proclaim "I must go to the sea!"
— Adriana Porter Felt (@__apf__) July 30, 2023
#9
Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) March 4, 2025
#10
Them: just listen to your body
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) March 6, 2025
My body: go back to bed and don’t ever get out
#11
Nothing humbles you faster than choking on a powdered sugar donut in public. One second you’re enjoying a morning treat, the next you’re fighting for your life in a cloud of powder
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) March 11, 2025
#12
By the age of 35 you should have at least two keys that you have no idea what they open
— Ok Kate (@Kateness8) March 11, 2025
#13
Italian couple fighting in front of me and the guy is holding two ice creams so the girl can move her hands around while shouting
— mariana (@pastapilled) August 18, 2023
#14
The Lowe’s paint samples hate to see me coming
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) March 12, 2025
#15
One day you’re young and carefree and suddenly you’re old and googling what kind of bird is outside your window.
— Linda (@turtledumplin) March 9, 2025
#16
my friend said she can’t hangout this week bc she just gave birth??? you’ve known the baby 1 day and me 12 years but ok
— Redd (@ReddCinema) March 10, 2025
#17
Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.
— ѕα’нαяαн 🌺 (@SaharahRain) March 12, 2025
#18
me: *starts coffee maker*
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 7, 2025
me: *3 minutes later* what's that noise
#19
for my next trick i will fall asleep 15 minutes into the movie i begged us to watch
— trash jones (@jzux) August 26, 2023
#20
“Start walking & I’ll meet you” really was the days😭
— solé (@layxsnv) March 12, 2025
#21
Costco sells sweatpants because they understand you’re eating that three- pound jar of M&Ms on your own
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) March 11, 2025
#22
riding in those self-driving Ubers not because I think they’re safe but because I want to be part of the class action lawsuit in 10 years
— trash jones (@jzux) March 13, 2025
#23
Me, usually: I am an independent woman
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 14, 2025
Me, when a solar panel salesman comes to the door: sorry, my husband makes all the decisions
#24
I like to ease into my day on Sunday by drinking coffee and scrolling on my phone for 10 hours.
— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) March 9, 2025
#25
Time to annoy my husband pic.twitter.com/G5IS31qfBG
— bird (@oliveegger) March 3, 2025
